The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart presents the proportion of
men
and
women
aged between 60 and 64 in workforces in four nations, Australia,
Japan
, the USA, and
Belgium
, in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
, the employment rate of
both
men
and
women
in
Japan
was the highest among others,
while
Belgium
was recently the lowest in
both
genders. In 1970,
Japan
had the highest number of
men
and
women
engaged in career markets,
while
both
Australia and the USA were the smallest when specifically for
men
.
Moreover
,
Belgium
was significantly lower compared to others when focusing on
women
.
Finally
, in 2000,
Belgium
was decreased in
both
sexes,
while
men
were massively dropped by 60 per cent.
Both
genders in
Japan
remained at the top of the group, which were small changes in the amount of workforce compared to the past three decades, its less than 8 per cent drop.
Furthermore
, the employment rate in
men
trending to higher than
women
in all nations.
Submitted by ssssisi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, japan, belgium, both with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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