The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparison

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The

given

Verb problem

apply

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bar chart presents the proportion of

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

aged between 60 and 64 in workforces in four nations, Australia,

Japan

Use synonyms

, the USA, and

Belgium

Use synonyms

, in 1970 and 2000.

Overall

Linking Words

, the employment rate of

both

Use synonyms

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

Japan

Use synonyms

was the highest among others,

while

Linking Words

Belgium

Use synonyms

was recently the lowest in

both

Use synonyms

genders. In 1970,

Japan

Use synonyms

had the highest number of

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

engaged in career markets,

while

Linking Words

both

Use synonyms

Australia and the USA were the smallest when specifically for

men

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

Belgium

Use synonyms

was significantly lower compared to others when focusing on

women

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

, in 2000,

Belgium

Use synonyms

was decreased in

both

Use synonyms

sexes,

while

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

were massively dropped by 60 per cent.

Both

Use synonyms

genders in

Japan

Use synonyms

remained at the top of the group, which were small changes in the amount of workforce compared to the past three decades, its less than 8 per cent drop.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the employment rate in

men

Use synonyms

trending to higher than

women

Use synonyms

in all nations.

Submitted by ssssisi on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, japan, belgium, both with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

161 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment rate
Percentage
Significant increase/decrease
Fluctuation
Gender disparity
Trend
Decline
Improvement
Variation
Noteworthy
Aligned
Comparative analysis

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The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Some people think that young criminals should receive the same punishment as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Opinion

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face-to-face. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. languages) and boys choose science subjects (e.g. Physics). What do you think are the reasons? Do you think that this tendency should be changed?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?