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Writing Samples
Band 4

The process diagram illustrates the manufacturing of bricks for the building industry in seven steps.

The process diagram illustrates the manufacturing of bricks for the building industry in seven steps.
#process #bricks #industry #seven #steps
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The diagram
dipicts
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depicts
 the manufacturing of
bricks
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 for the usage of
building
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buildings
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the diagram includes seven steps, from
diggering
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digging
clay
Use synonyms
 to delivering
bricks
Use synonyms
 to building industries. In the first stage,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a digger is used to dig some
clay
Use synonyms
. After that, the workers will use a metal grid to take away some bigger
clay
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.
Then
Linking Words
, a
mechine
Correct your spelling
machine
 with rollers will be used to transfer the smaller
clay
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. Later on, some sand and water are mixed with
clay
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. In the third stage, two kinds of
bricks
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 are made by a wire cutter and a mould. In the
fouth
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fourth
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 stage, the
bricks
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 are put
in to
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into
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drying
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a drying
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 oven for 24 to 48 hours. After that,
bricks
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 are sent to
kilin
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kiln
killing
 to get heated from 200 degrees to 1300 degrees, followed by
cooling
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a cooling
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proccess
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process
 in
cooling
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a cooling
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 chamber for 28 to 72 hours. After the
proccess
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process
,
bricks
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 are ready for packaging.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
bricks
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 will be delivered to numerous building industries.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks, clay with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • manufacturing
  • building industry
  • raw materials
  • preparation
  • kneading
  • uniformity
  • shaping
  • molds
  • drying
  • moisture
  • firing
  • kiln
  • high temperatures
  • harden
  • cooling
  • cracking
  • quality checking
  • packaging
  • shipping
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