Studies have shown that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave. Do you agree or disagree?

Recently, many researchers
prove
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
that most criminals are uncultured as they have lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opportunities
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
education. Some people think that prison is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
suitable place for educating criminals, and
also
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
them decent jobs when get
realeased
Correct your spelling
released
. To be honest, I would
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
say that I have the same point
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
. On the one hand, there are several benefits of the way using prison as
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
educating place
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
has strict
disciplines
Fix the agreement mistake
discipline
show examples
and
also
Submitted by ©BEE SWARM DỞ NHẤT TG on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Expand your essay to fully develop your argument, providing clear introductions and conclusions.
support
Use specific examples and details to support your arguments, to demonstrate clear thinking and understanding of the topic.
cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly using a range of linkers and cohesive devices.
task response
Consider elaborating more on how education in prisons can lead to obtaining jobs post-release, incorporating evidence or examples.
opinion
Shows a clear stance on the topic, indicating a personal point of view.
topic introduction
Initial argument introduces the debate around education in prisons as a method to reduce crime.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • correlation
  • educational opportunities
  • criminal behavior
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • economic benefits
  • criminal justice system
  • personal development
  • self-esteem
  • implementing
  • funding
  • resources
  • readiness
  • alternative solutions
  • job training
  • mental health support
  • social reintegration programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: