IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The pictures illustrate the change in Shipmouth between 1995 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#pictures #change #shipmouth #information #features #comparisons
The given two maps show the main changes which have taken place in the town of Shipsmouth from 1995 to 2010. In general, the Shipsmouth became more modernised, with far more welfare services and transport facilities. One interesting change is that a new airport was built in order to transfer passengers with ease. In 1995, there was
not any
Rephrase
no
show examples
 place for individuals to go shop, but in 2010 a big shopping centre was replaced
into
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 factory. Another striking change is that the church was knocked down and a pub was constructed
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that people have entertainment. In 1995, on the north of Shipsmouth
that
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 was an empty zone,and a new station was built in order to not be crowded. The north-west of the city used to be a green area, but in 2010 the trees were demolished and the apartment blocks were constructed. If we look at the east of the lake, the road of the city centre was removed and the pedestrian was erected which was taken between both new and old stations actually, and a new grand skyscraper was converted into small houses. A final interesting development was the introduction of a football stadium in the south of the city centre that was between the lake and the old station.
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structure
You've given a good overview of the changes in Shipsmouth, but try to organize your paragraphs more clearly. One suggestion is to dedicate paragraphs to different areas of the town, such as transportation changes, public facilities, and housing development, which might help the reader follow your description more easily.
linking words
Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to better connect your ideas and make transitions smoother. Phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," and "Contrastingly," can add variety and clarity to your writing.
detail
While you did well to include a range of changes, make sure to provide a bit more detail about each one. For instance, instead of simply stating that a pub was constructed where a church was knocked down, you could elaborate on how this reflects a change in the community's social or cultural priorities.
overview
You provided a clear and effective overview of the changes that occurred in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010.
task response
You successfully identified and described the main features and changes in the town, showing a good understanding of the task.
grammar
Good use of past tense to describe changes that happened over the time period, which is appropriate for the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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