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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009
The line graph shows information about the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came to the UK in terms of purposes, namely holiday, business and visiting friends and relatives over
20-year
Correct article usage
a 20-year
show examples
 period between 1989 and 2009
Overall
Linking Words
, all categories experienced different trends during these years. The figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 business and holiday grew with some fluctuations, and the rate of visits to close people increased gradually In 1989, the value of holidays was just over 6.5
million
Use synonyms
 after it experienced a steady increase to 9.5 much
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 1999, and it decreased slightly to 7.5 bank in 2004.
As a result
Linking Words
, there was a gradual increase to 9
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the year 2009. Business travel was at 5.5
million
Use synonyms
 at the beginning, after it decreased slowly to 4
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990, and it increased rapidly to 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 1999
Punctuation problem
. Next
show examples
next,
Linking Words
there was declining decline in 2004 , after that it rose to 8
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 . Visits to friends or relatives
also
Linking Words
 grew, from under 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 1989 to around 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005, but
then
Linking Words
 fell slightly to about 5.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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