Completing university is thought be syme to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and dveloping soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #syme #job #hand #people #skills

There is no denying the fact that getting a job has become more difficult

ecpecialy

Correct your spelling

especially

after COVID-19.

While

it is a commonly held belief that getting

Correct article usage

a bacholer

show examples

bacholer

Correct your spelling

bachelor

bachelors

degree is

essitial

Correct your spelling

essential

for finding a good

joob

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job

, there is

also

argment

Correct your spelling

argument

that

gitting

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getting

show examples

experience and improving soft skills

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more crucial.

This

essay will analyze

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, nowadays, the

opprotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

have become

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

regard

Replace the word

regarding

show examples

jobs

, with the

improving

Replace the word

improvement

show examples

in technology.

In other words

, if the person

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

college, finding a job that has

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary is almost

impposiple

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impossible

For example

, Half Milion cafe

oppend

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opened

append

the first branch with zero

humen

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human

employe,

consequently

there are 15 to 20

jobs

removed from only one branch.

On the other hand

, some

jobs

can not be

teached

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taught

show examples

in universities.

In other words

, how to make money is a topic which universities

does

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show examples

not teach. Most of the

wealthest

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wealthiest

people do not work for the same major which they

studies

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study

show examples

in university.

Moreover

, some skills are improved with

practicing

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practice

show examples

For example

, marketing is one of the

jobs

which

requier

Correct your spelling

require

training. In conclusion, there

Add a missing verb

are no

show examples

easy answers to

this

question. On

balancr

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balance

however

, I tend to believe that both ways

Change the verb form

are

show examples

essincial

Correct your spelling

essential

for having

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

job, so everyone has to get a degree and improve his soft skills and practice.

Submitted by Aljawir3 on Mon Apr 29 2024

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Structure

Your essay does a good job of introducing the topic and presenting both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. This structure helps in maintaining a logical flow. However, working on the organization and transitioning between ideas within paragraphs could enhance clarity and cohesion.

Support

Providing clear and specific examples to support your points will make your arguments more compelling. While you mentioned examples, such as the Half Milion cafe, clarifying and expanding on these examples would improve task achievement.

Accuracy

Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and typing errors. While your essay conveys your ideas, frequent errors might distract the reader and impact the overall clarity. Using tools or practicing proofreading can help minimize these mistakes.

Development

Practice developing your ideas further by explaining how they relate to the question. This will not only strengthen your argument but also show a deeper understanding of the topic which is important for higher scores.

Task Response

You effectively covered both views and provided your own opinion in conclusion, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay task.

Use of Examples

You attempted to use examples to support your points, which is a good practice. Refining how you integrate these examples will further improve your score.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

227 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Completing university is thought be syme to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and dveloping soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this, and how can the problem be managed?

‘Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers* in most countries’ •How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree?

in the future nobody will buy printed nespapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.