In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In these
days, many companies illustrate that their Change preposition
These
products
are modern while
marketing. In this
report
I will go through the positive and negative effects of Add a comma
report,
this
development, then
allow me to share my position.
Making new outcomes every year is attractive, helpful, profitable
; as a Correct word choice
and profitable
consequense
, facilities try to show that their outputs are new by mentioning that in the Correct your spelling
consequence
adevrtisment
. Because people believe that being new equals having good qualities and better performance.
Many benefits resulted Correct your spelling
advertisement
of
making annual outcomes; Change preposition
from
for example
, causing more profits. studies presented that buying new producte
Correct your spelling
products
product
supessas
buying the old ones, so companies do their best to present new Correct your spelling
surpasses
suppresses
products
. Moreover
, doing this
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
fixing
the previous mistakes, Wrong verb form
fix
for
this
reason, customers choose the modern models instead
of the antiques.
Although
the points above are strong, there are opposite points which hold equal strength. The first one is consuming a lot of money, many articles indicated that companies throw the old products
away when they make new ones because Rephrase
no none
none
Correct your spelling
one
buy
them. Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
As a result
, many facilities suffer from not having enough incomes
. Fix the agreement mistake
income
Additionally
, some businesses do not have enough money so they lie about that, which leads to not believe
the Wrong verb form
believing
advertisments
. Correct your spelling
advertisements
For example
, a survey showed that the majority of humankind do not think they are honest.
In conclusion, although
the two attitudes are strong, I am certain that showing that products
are new is beneficial, helpful, and strategic. As a result
, the positives overcome the negatives.Submitted by haneenalnetaif on
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Example Clarity
Work on including more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and grounded in reality.
Paragraph Transitions
Try to improve the flow and connections between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can help your essay read more smoothly.
Spelling and Grammar
Be careful with spelling and grammar, particularly with the correct form of words ('advertisment' should be 'advertisement', 'outcomes' should be 'products', 'supessas' seems to be a typo).
Vocabulary Variety
Consider a more varied vocabulary to express your points. Repeating words such as 'new', 'products', and 'companies' could be substituted with synonyms to enhance readability.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
Strong Conclusion
You have a clear conclusion that succinctly summarizes your stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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