Many believe living in big cities comes with more advantages than residing in the countryside. Do you agree or disagree with this?
Certain individuals believe that metropolitan
areas
offer many positive outcomes to its
residents. Correct pronoun usage
their
However
, villagers have to face many problems. I partially agree with this
opinion and there are a plethora of reasons for that which will be examined further
in this
essay.
To begin
with, there are major upsides associated with residing in a major city
. The reason why people
prefer to live in the cities
is because there are many work opportunities which they cannot avail in their villages
. So, they migrate to the cities
where they are able to find work and sustain their lives. To exemplify, many people
migrate from villages
to Mumbai city
because there are many industries located in the metro city
that provide them jobs and even some provide themaccommodation
in the shelters made for their labour. Generally, Correct your spelling
them accommodation
the accommodation
this
phenomenon is true for the
manual labour who only have Correct article usage
apply
option
to work in the factories which are usually Change the article
the option
setup
in the major Correct your spelling
set up
cities
of their country.
On the contrary
, countryside areas
have serene
environment, owing to Correct article usage
a serene
this
life is so peaceful in these areas
. This
also
augments the productivity of a person. This
is the reason why farmers seem more happy
Replace the words
happier
while
working in the fields to
Change preposition
apply
that
Correct word choice
than
of
Change preposition
apply
an
Correct article usage
apply
individual
who Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
is
stressed Correct subject-verb agreement
are
with
buzzing Change preposition
by
city
life. For example
, many old people
or even middle age
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
people
complain about aggravation
of hearing problems or even Add an article
the aggravation
start
of permanent hearing damage at an early age but Correct article usage
the start
this
complain
is not as Replace the word
complaint
much
prevalent in the Fix the agreement mistake
apply
villages
. This
is because of less noise pollution in the villages
leading to the
peaceful environment.
Correct article usage
a
To conclude
, both cities
and villages
have their own advantages like cities
are known for ample opportunities which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
offers
to Wrong verb form
offered
its
residents. Correct pronoun usage
their
On the other hand
, countryside areas
are serene and contribute to the satisfaction of individuals living in the areas
. So, the belief that residing in cities
is more advantageous is one sided
and it does not take into account the benefits of life in Add a hyphen
one-sided
villages
.Submitted by Kiran on
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Grammar & Spelling
Remember to proofread for minor spelling or grammatical errors that can slightly hinder the readability of your essay. For example, consider refining phrases like 'many industries located in the metro city that provide them jobs and even some provide themaccommodation in the shelters made for their labour' for clarity and correctness.
Argument Development
Balance the development of your arguments for both sides more evenly. Ensure that each view or point you present is matched with a strong counterpoint or supporting argument to maintain a balanced discussion.
Language Use
Use a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency. While your essay shows good control, varying your sentence construction and employing a broader lexicon can add depth to your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting a clear thesis that guides the reader through your argument.
Structure & Cohesion
Your essay benefits from logical structure and coherence, with each paragraph focusing on a specific idea, supported by examples or reasons.
Specific Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the migration to Mumbai for job opportunities and the effect of environment on wellbeing, which greatly strengthens your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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