In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?
Nowadays, it is a common trend to devote less
time
to family which leads to many drastic consequences and mainly affects the whole family whether it is children
or their parents
.
So, in this
essay, the whole situation will be examined to know why this
is happening and who is getting affected with
Change preposition
by
this
.
To begin
with, in the current era, people spend most of their useful time
on social media
apps and neglect their surroundings which includes their kids or even the elderly members who need their attention. They keep on scrolling on their samartphones
to watch videos and waste their important wealth which is their Correct your spelling
smartphones
time
. To exemplify, it is common to see these days that when a father comes back from office
, he neglects his family and Correct article usage
the office
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
this
leisure time
on the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
and his family gets ignored. Overall
, more time
is
spent on social Unnecessary verb
apply
media
and
is the basic cause of Correct word choice
apply
such
kind of situation
.
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Furthermore
, this
exacerbates many underlying problems within the families. When kids get ignored then
parents
drift apart in their relationship with their family. For instance
, parents
divorce rates are higher Change noun form
parents'
parent's
where
one parent fails to provide care for their Correct word choice
when
children
and the other parent in that relationship feel
overburdened because of that. Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
Thus
, parents
get divorced. Correct article usage
the parents
Besides
this
, children
cannot get enough guidance to pursue their goals or some moral values which are imparted by the
Change the word
their
parents
to them. Take this
case of children
whose parents
are seperated
and are not able to spend much Correct your spelling
separated
time
with them, children
most often face depression and do not feel comfortable in their life. Hence
, both the parents
and thier
kids are intertwined and have to face the negative outcomes equally.
Correct your spelling
their
To conclude
, the reason why children
get ignored is due to
the addiction of
social Change preposition
to
media
and people forget their families resulting in higher divorce rates of parents
and children
suffer
in Wrong verb form
suffering
this
whole situation. As a result
, children
have to go through this
kind of tough social life and doomed
to face mental issues. Add a missing verb
are doomed
Thus
, it affects the whole family altogether.Submitted by Kiran on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure to directly address all parts of the question within your essay. While you discussed the causes and effects extensively, make sure each section directly answers the prompt for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary. This will help to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Try to include a more balanced discussion of both views when the question asks for a comparison of impact. Providing distinct sections for how each party is affected would aid in clarity and depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
You made a clear argument, with a logical flow from causes to effects, which made your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.