In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is a common trend to devote less
time
Use synonyms
to family which leads to many drastic consequences and mainly affects the whole family whether it is
children
Use synonyms
or their
parents
Use synonyms
. So, in
this
Linking Words
essay, the whole situation will be examined to know why
this
Linking Words
is happening and who is getting affected
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, in the current era, people spend most of their useful
time
Use synonyms
on social
media
Use synonyms
apps and neglect their surroundings which includes their kids or even the elderly members who need their attention. They keep on scrolling on their
samartphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
to watch videos and waste their important wealth which is their
time
Use synonyms
. To exemplify, it is common to see these days that when a father comes back from
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
, he neglects his family and
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
this
Linking Words
leisure
time
Use synonyms
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
and his family gets ignored.
Overall
Linking Words
, more
time
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on social
media
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
is the basic cause of
such
Linking Words
kind of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
exacerbates many underlying problems within the families. When kids get ignored
then
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
drift apart in their relationship with their family.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
divorce rates are higher
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
one parent fails to provide care for their
children
Use synonyms
and the other parent in that relationship
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
overburdened because of that.
Thus
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
parents
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
get divorced.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
cannot get enough guidance to pursue their goals or some moral values which are imparted by
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
to them. Take
this
Linking Words
case of
children
Use synonyms
whose
parents
Use synonyms
are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
and are not able to spend much
time
Use synonyms
with them,
children
Use synonyms
most often face depression and do not feel comfortable in their life.
Hence
Linking Words
, both the
parents
Use synonyms
and
thier
Correct your spelling
their
kids are intertwined and have to face the negative outcomes equally.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the reason why
children
Use synonyms
get ignored is
due to
Linking Words
the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
and people forget their families resulting in higher divorce rates of
parents
Use synonyms
and
children
Use synonyms
suffer
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
whole situation.
As a result
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
have to go through
this
Linking Words
kind of tough social life and
doomed
Add a missing verb
are doomed
show examples
to face mental issues.
Thus
Linking Words
, it affects the whole family altogether.
Submitted by Kiran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to directly address all parts of the question within your essay. While you discussed the causes and effects extensively, make sure each section directly answers the prompt for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary. This will help to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Try to include a more balanced discussion of both views when the question asks for a comparison of impact. Providing distinct sections for how each party is affected would aid in clarity and depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
You made a clear argument, with a logical flow from causes to effects, which made your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work demands
  • longer working hours
  • digital technology
  • screen time
  • urbanization
  • commuting times
  • emotional distance
  • parental guidance
  • harmful behaviors
  • guilt
  • stress
  • missed opportunities
  • development
  • emotional well-being
  • social skills
  • family dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: