The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
In
this
modern era, Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
is evolving per day and Correct article usage
apply
the
nations are Correct article usage
apply
also
developing themselves because of it . Due to
this
advancement, some individuals believe that as much as the range of technology
available nowaday
in the market is directly affecting the gap between the rich and the poor and Correct your spelling
nowadays
this
gap is also
rosing
. Correct your spelling
rising
However
, other people argue that this
trend has reverse
effect compared to the former view. Correct article usage
a reverse
As a result
, both views are discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
, discussing the former view, the first and prominent point is that, technology
have
given rise to unemployment. Change the verb form
has
For instance
, wealthy
business person Add an article
a wealthy
the wealthy
are
using Change the verb form
is
latest
Add an article
the latest
technology
such
robots
and AI for their company. In Change preposition
as robots
this
way, business folks
can earn a lot amount of money and moreover
, they don't have to give salaries as no human is working for them. Likewise
, this
adavencement
is Correct your spelling
advancement
obstracting
common people to get a job.Correct your spelling
attracting
Therefore
, unemployment
rate is rising.
On the flip side, numerous Add an article
the unemployment
folks
contradict with
the former viewpoint by arguing some positive Change preposition
apply
effect
. Fix the agreement mistake
effects
To begin
with, people from middle
class or lower have enough knowledge to operate Correct article usage
the middle
latest
Change the article
the latest
technology
and they are able
to show their various talents and skills. Due
to this
they are able to earn properly and poor Add a comma
this,
folks
are becoming rich day by day. To give an example, according to
a survey in India, there is 20
% reduction of residents living below Correct article usage
a 20
poverty
line Add an article
the poverty
in
Change preposition
at
present
time compared to a decade ago and all Correct article usage
the present
this
happened to
the latest Change preposition
with
technology
.
To sum up
, I believe in the latter view. Due to
the range of availability of numerous latest technological equipments and gadgets common folks
are earning a stable income and they are able to survive in the world of modernisation.Submitted by akshayashvi07 on
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Example Clarity
Aim to provide clearer and more direct examples to back up your arguments. While you mention a survey in India, specifying the nature of the technology that caused this positive change can make your examples more impactful.
Sentence Variety
Work on ensuring a variety of sentence structures to improve readability and engage the reader more effectively. This also helps in presenting ideas more clearly and making the essay more interesting.
Grammar and Accuracy
Proofreading your essay can help identify and correct grammatical errors and improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Introduction/Conclusion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion on the topic.
Argument Coverage
You've done well to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the essay question.
Use of Examples
Your use of an example from India to support the positive effects of technology demonstrates an effort to substantiate your arguments with real-world evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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