You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter ● describe the problem with the equipment ● explain what happened when you phoned the shop ● say what you would like the manager to do.

#piece #equipment #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager

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Dear Mr or Mrs assistance, I am writing to you in order to

claim

Verb problem

complain

show examples

about

vacuum

Correct article usage

the vacuum

show examples

cleaner that you sold me, which turned out not to work.

To begin

with, the moment I turned it on it did not even start. I thought that something was wrong with my outlet,

for instance

, energy are not compatible. But when I changed

Correct article usage

the

show examples

outlet, it still did not work. I phoned a local professional in

hope

Correct article usage

the hope

show examples

that he would tell me what to do, but it did not help, so I

finally

decided to call you. I tried to communicate with your other shop assistants but they seemed to be oblivious. I was

said

Verb problem

told

show examples

that the shop cannot do anything so it is solely my problem. My attempts to explain what was wrong was effortless because your helping

stuff

Correct your spelling

staff

show examples

had no clue what to do and more than that, they spoke to me in a rude way. What I want you to do is to make a refund because I have all the cheques that confirm my right of return or replacement.

Additionally

, I would really

apreciate

Correct your spelling

appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you could give me a discount card for your inappropriate and rough approach to clients. Thank you for your time and understanding. Sincerely Kseniia.

Submitted by ksrnnn on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Grammar & Vocabulary

Consider revising for grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and professionalism.

Structure

Review the structure to ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to another.

Terminology

Double-check shop assistant phrases for more accurate terminology (e.g., 'staff' instead of 'stuff').

Content

You effectively communicated the main issues including the defective equipment and the unsatisfactory response from the shop.

Organization

Your letter was well-organized with clear paragraphs for each point.

Tone

You made a clear and polite request regarding the desired outcome.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

210 words

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