Unemployment remains the biggest challenges to school-leavers in most countries. Ho far do agree with this assessment? what other challenges face young people today?

Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
of individuals claim that joblessness is
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
concern for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
leave
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. In my perspective, I partly agree with
this
view.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
there are many
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in front of
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
and I will mention some of them in the essay.
Firstly
,
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
certificate
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
one of significant privilege for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to acknowledge qualifications,
nevertheless
, it
solely
Add a missing verb
is solely
show examples
document
Correct article usage
a document
show examples
. In actual work
circumstances
Add a comma
circumstances,
show examples
other factor
Change the wording
another factor
other factors
show examples
will
be evaluate
Change the verb form
be evaluated
show examples
in workforces. One of the fundamental
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
that most
employer
Change to a plural noun
employers
show examples
consider in employees is how they can do tasks
in appropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
procedure. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
,
singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
or
dancer
Fix the agreement mistake
dancers
show examples
can learn or improve their ability with private
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
show examples
without schools.
Secondly
, in
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
many young people should cope with
other vital issue
Change the wording
another vital issue
other vital issues
show examples
in society. many developing countries have instability
economic
Replace the word
economies
show examples
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
many
youngster
Change to a plural noun
youngsters
show examples
encounter economic problems.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
academic
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
just train students
Change preposition
in theorical
show examples
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
lessons and they never learn fields in practical ways
hence
they never find activities they have talent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
therefore
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
occupation will be challenging for them in future.
To conclude
, in my
viewpoint
Add a comma
viewpoint,
show examples
pedagogical centers should
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
effective in future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
for
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
and they should learn
Change preposition
about them
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
in schools. If
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
altered and ameliorated some
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
and useless
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system, the situation would
be improve
Change the verb form
be improved
show examples
.
Submitted by zahranajafi107 on

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grammar vocabulary
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance the quality of your essay. Consistent use of appropriate vocabulary and grammatical structures can significantly impact your clarity and the overall effectiveness of your argument.
structure
Work on structuring your essay more coherently. A clear introduction, well-developed paragraphs, and a strong conclusion can help make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
topic relevance
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.
conclusion effectiveness
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well and reiterates the writer’s viewpoint, rounding off the essay clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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