Unemployment remains the biggest challenges to school-leavers in most countries. Ho far do agree with this assessment? what other challenges face young people today?
Number
of individuals claim that joblessness is Change the article
A number
The number
huge
concern for Add an article
a huge
who
leave Correct pronoun usage
those who
schools
. In my perspective, I partly agree with Fix the agreement mistake
school
this
view. However
there are many Add a comma
However,
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
that
in front of Correct word choice
apply
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
youngster
and I will mention some of them in the essay.
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
Firstly
, academic
certificate Correct article usage
an academic
maybe
one of significant privilege for Correct your spelling
may
student
to acknowledge qualifications, Fix the agreement mistake
students
nevertheless
, it solely
Add a missing verb
is solely
document
. In actual work Correct article usage
a document
circumstances
Add a comma
circumstances,
other factor
will Change the wording
another factor
other factors
be evaluate
in workforces. One of the fundamental Change the verb form
be evaluated
matter
that most Fix the agreement mistake
matters
employer
consider in employees is how they can do tasks Change to a plural noun
employers
in appropriate
procedure. For Correct your spelling
inappropriate
instant
, Replace the word
instance
singer
or Fix the agreement mistake
singers
dancer
can learn or improve their ability with private Fix the agreement mistake
dancers
tutor
without schools.
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
Secondly
, in these
Correct determiner usage
this
era
many young people should cope with Add a comma
era,
other vital issue
in society. many developing countries have instability Change the wording
another vital issue
other vital issues
economic
Replace the word
economies
therefor
many Correct your spelling
therefore
youngster
encounter economic problems. Change to a plural noun
youngsters
Unfortunately
most Add a comma
Unfortunately,
of
academic Change preposition
apply
institute
just train students Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
Change preposition
in theorical
theorical
lessons and they never learn fields in practical ways Correct your spelling
theoretical
hence
they never find activities they have talent on
Change preposition
in
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
therefore
find
Wrong verb form
finding
proper
occupation will be challenging for them in future.
Correct article usage
a proper
To conclude
, in my viewpoint
pedagogical centers should Add a comma
viewpoint,
more
effective in future Add a missing verb
be more
career
for Fix the agreement mistake
careers
pupil
and they should learn Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
Change preposition
about them
them
life Correct pronoun usage
their
ability
in schools. If Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
government
altered and ameliorated some Correct article usage
the government
pervious
and useless Correct your spelling
previous
method
in Fix the agreement mistake
methods
education
system, the situation would Add an article
the education
be improve
.Change the verb form
be improved
Submitted by zahranajafi107 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clarity
Strive for clarity and precision in your writing. Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure each point is effectively supported with specific examples.
grammar vocabulary
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance the quality of your essay. Consistent use of appropriate vocabulary and grammatical structures can significantly impact your clarity and the overall effectiveness of your argument.
structure
Work on structuring your essay more coherently. A clear introduction, well-developed paragraphs, and a strong conclusion can help make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
topic relevance
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.
conclusion effectiveness
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well and reiterates the writer’s viewpoint, rounding off the essay clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.