Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's world technology has become advanced and
people
are stuck with their busy work lifestyle. There are convenient ways to watch films on our phones, but some people
try to watch movies
in cinema
hall
Fix the agreement mistake
halls
that
they can enjoy the Correct word choice
so that
movie
well. This
essay further
elaborates both
views and I would like to give some opinions.
Change preposition
on both
Firstly
, I would like to illustrate my view of watching movies
on our smart devices which we have access all
the Change preposition
to all
time
. There are some benefits,
like we can save much Remove the comma
apply
time
and money when watching movies
on phone
. Individuals travel by public transport and waste their Correct article usage
the phone
time
on the train during that time
they can watch movies
on the phone in that valuable time
. Furthermore
, if we plan to go out and watch a movie
in cinema
, it will cost more money. Nowadays, Add an article
the cinema
a cinema
people
are sacrificed
their leisure Wrong verb form
sacrificing
time
and focused
Verb problem
focusing on
the
Change the word
their
job
to earn money.
Probing ahead, there are some Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
people
who really likes
to enjoy their Change the verb form
like
time
outside the home. On the other hand
, when we visit to
the Remove the preposition
apply
cinema
hall
, we can feel a good vibe and give full attention to the movie
. Moreover
, cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
hall
is well developed and equipped with more facilities which people
can entertain while
watching the movie
like adjustable seats and eco sound systems. Most of the time
, movies
have good technology to experience, and movie
cinema
is best
place fell the quality of Correct article usage
the best
product
.
Add an article
the product
a product
To conclude
, in my point of view, there are
Change the verb form
is
most
convenient way to watch a Add an article
a most
movie
is in a cinema
hall
than our
own mobile phone or tablet. The advantages of watching Change preposition
on our
movies
in cinema
halls out weights
the advantages of watching Correct your spelling
outweigh
movies
at home.Submitted by lahiru_80 on
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Introduction & Thesis Statement
Your introduction provides a good setup for the discussion, but to improve, make sure to directly address the topic by clearly stating the two contrasting views before presenting your own opinion.
Paragraph Structure
When presenting your arguments, try to clearly separate your paragraphs, one focusing on the benefits of watching movies on devices, and another on the benefits of going to the cinema. This will enhance the clarity of your essay.
Linking Words & Phrases
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While you have foundational connectors, enhancing this aspect can make your arguments more coherent.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, succinctly restate your opinion and briefly summarize the key points made in your essay to strengthen the final impression.
Supporting Examples
Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and engaging.
Task Response
You have effectively addressed the topic by discussing both views and providing your own opinion.
Essay Structure
Your essay structure is generally good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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