In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, there has been
a
competition between industries to make the most innovative and distinct Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
, claiming their products are Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
the best
than others, which is caused by market demand and financial purposes. It appears that Correct word choice
better
this
trend is sociologically and environmentally harmful.
The phenomenon of businesses competing to make unique marketing is caused by multiple reasons. Linking Words
Firstly
, if one company uses an eye-catching banner Linking Words
Linking Words
for
instance, they will attract more Add the comma(s)
, for
people
to window-shopping their goods and consider purchasing afterwards. Another example, studies have shown that in an industry with fine Use synonyms
advertising
management will sustain for 20 to 30 years more than their competitors. Add a comma
advertising,
This
way, producers will gain a high margin Linking Words
to
their financial report continuously, benefiting themselves. Change preposition
for
Secondly
, the current technological change leads Linking Words
people
to analyze their products' preferences. One example, studies Use synonyms
has
shown that advertisements with artificial intelligence usage bring 75% more satisfaction to customers on making payment Change the verb form
have
of
a product.
Regarding these causes, there are several drawbacks that the companies Change preposition
for
had
not been aware of. First of all, the waste Wrong verb form
have
on
clothes or food consumption, Change preposition
of
for instance
, can contribute to a bad water cycle, causing a dreadful disease for animals worldwide. Admittedly, Linking Words
this
is an environmental problem that takes a long time to cure. Linking Words
In addition
, if Linking Words
people
have the minimal ability to control their desire Use synonyms
on shopping
, there will be consumerism in the community. Eventually, Change preposition
to shop
people
will be unaware of their economic consequences.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, it seems that budgetary goals and Linking Words
people
’s requests are the main causes of the ongoing issue of industries stating their products are new. Use synonyms
This
situation will bring negative effects on the environment and society.Linking Words
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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the question and preview your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
Language Proficiency
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Grammar
Check your essay for grammatical errors and try to use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Task Achievement
You've addressed both parts of the question, providing reasons for the trend and evaluating its impact.
Task Achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, which help to support your points.
Content Depth
Good attempt at discussing both the causes and the consequences of the marketing trend.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?