In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, there has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition between industries to make the most innovative and distinct
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
, claiming their products are
the best
Correct word choice
better
show examples
than others, which is caused by market demand and financial purposes. It appears that
this
trend is sociologically and environmentally harmful. The phenomenon of businesses competing to make unique marketing is caused by multiple reasons.
Firstly
, if one company uses an eye-catching banner
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
instance, they will attract more
people
to window-shopping their goods and consider purchasing afterwards. Another example, studies have shown that in an industry with fine
advertising
Add a comma
advertising,
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management will sustain for 20 to 30 years more than their competitors.
This
way, producers will gain a high margin
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their financial report continuously, benefiting themselves.
Secondly
, the current technological change leads
people
to analyze their products' preferences. One example, studies
has
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have
show examples
shown that advertisements with artificial intelligence usage bring 75% more satisfaction to customers on making payment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
a product. Regarding these causes, there are several drawbacks that the companies
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
not been aware of. First of all, the waste
on
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of
show examples
clothes or food consumption,
for instance
, can contribute to a bad water cycle, causing a dreadful disease for animals worldwide. Admittedly,
this
is an environmental problem that takes a long time to cure.
In addition
, if
people
have the minimal ability to control their desire
on shopping
Change preposition
to shop
show examples
, there will be consumerism in the community. Eventually,
people
will be unaware of their economic consequences.
To conclude
, it seems that budgetary goals and
people
’s requests are the main causes of the ongoing issue of industries stating their products are new.
This
situation will bring negative effects on the environment and society.
Submitted by paslonbahagia on

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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the question and preview your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
Language Proficiency
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Grammar
Check your essay for grammatical errors and try to use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Task Achievement
You've addressed both parts of the question, providing reasons for the trend and evaluating its impact.
Task Achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, which help to support your points.
Content Depth
Good attempt at discussing both the causes and the consequences of the marketing trend.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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