Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The issue of poverty has sparked a heated debate among many. It
is widely argue
that the most poor Change the verb form
is widely argued
contries ometimes
need Correct your spelling
countries sometimes
a
financial Remove the article
apply
support
from more successful ones. It is notion
without its Add an article
a notion
critisizm
Correct your spelling
criticism
,
because the origination of poverty issues might relate to Remove the comma
apply
completely
different Add an article
a completely
area
. I Fix the agreement mistake
areas
am
firmly Unnecessary verb
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
beliefs
that Replace the word
believe
a
Remove the article
apply
support
from the
another government should be more complex and Remove the article
apply
consists
of Correct subject-verb agreement
consist
few
parts.
Correct article usage
a few
Firstly
, it is undeniable that the political system, that government has, relates to public money
spending. The key component of challenges in the poorer contries
might Correct your spelling
countries
laid
Replace the word
lie
on
mutual characteristics that their administration has. Change preposition
in
For example
, the
democracies Correct article usage
apply
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
more rich
and Replace the words
richer
Correct quantifier usage
more successfull
successfull
than Correct your spelling
successful
the
dictatorships or Correct article usage
apply
the
autocracies. It is important to consider not only Correct article usage
apply
money
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the level of corruption and the way of spending.
Secondly
, evidence suggests that what more
important is Add a missing verb
is more
educate
people, create new workplaces and reduce the level of violence and drug abuse. I hardly imagine how only Fix the infinitive
to educate
a
Remove the article
apply
money
could help to
homeless people if there are Change preposition
apply
drugs
and alcohol addictions. In that case, Fix the agreement mistake
drug
a
Correct article usage
the
money
that
provided to the homeless will likely Correct pronoun usage
apply
spend
on drugs, which clearly Wrong verb form
be spent
support
my statement that Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
support
and help need
be more sophisticated.
Add the particle
need to
Overall
, despite the fact that the most
poorer Correct quantifier usage
apply
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
wants
Change the verb form
want
support
and help, money
is not the only option, while
it is seems
the most obvious Change the verb form
seems
helpfull
way. What is more important is creating a new Correct your spelling
helpful
opportinuty
for people and Correct your spelling
opportunity
contriels
to Correct your spelling
countries
develope
and reach Correct your spelling
develop
a
success.Remove the article
apply
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Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly with clear and precise examples. Specific examples can help clarify your arguments and give strength to your points.
General
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing. Frequent errors can distract from the strength of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider structuring your essay more effectively. Although you have a clear introduction and conclusion, your body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more coherent development of ideas.
Task Achievement
You have presented a clear thesis statement and framed your argument effectively in the introduction and conclusion, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Despite some errors, your essay attempts to cover the topic comprehensively, discussing different aspects of aid beyond financial support.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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