It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is necessary for any individuals to do risky jobs in their personal
as well as
Linking Words
professional sectors. I think there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more benefits than drawbacks
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
doing
this
Linking Words
. When people try to do difficult things, there is a
chace
Correct your spelling
chance
to
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
about new objects.
Whereas
Linking Words
, others do not get
this
Linking Words
opportunity.
In addition
Linking Words
, they easily controlled numerous skills,
such
Linking Words
as computers, communications and so on.
For example
Linking Words
, some researchers conducted research and found that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
US individuals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
love to take risks so that they can discover new things and the government gives them any kind of
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, it is an opportunity to be a superhero
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
a community. when a person will
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
in their
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
then
Linking Words
everyone will follow his ideality and
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to enjoy the facilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most of the time there is a fear of failure.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when they
fails
Change the verb form
fail
show examples
, they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
their hopes.
For instance
Linking Words
, many people
committed
Wrong verb form
commit
show examples
suicide
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
to do not
gets
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
their desired goals and it is a great hamper for a country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, our community tag them as a loser. If they
are not succeed
Change the verb form
do not succeed
show examples
, they will be trolled by our society members.
Consequently
Linking Words
, next time they will not try to think for complete any difficult one, which
damage
Change the verb form
damages
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
economic point. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages. Disadvantages create some impacts in our society but advantages will help to lead an easy life among the community members and if the government takes some concerns for drawbacks, individuals will not complain about
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly. This includes organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each and using topic sentences effectively.
Task Response
Although you have attempted to answer the question, developing your argument further would strengthen your essay. Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples.
Content
You succeeded in providing examples to support your arguments, which helps to make your essay more convincing.
Content
Your essay touches on both sides of the argument, showing an attempt to consider the topic comprehensively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: