It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is necessary for any individuals to do risky jobs in their personal
as well as
professional sectors. I think there is
more benefits than drawbacks Change the verb form
are
by
doing Change preposition
to
this
.
When people try to do difficult things, there is a chace
to Correct your spelling
chance
know
about new objects. Verb problem
learn
Whereas
, others do not get this
opportunity. In addition
, they easily controlled numerous skills, such
as computers, communications and so on. For example
, some researchers conducted research and found that the
US individuals Correct article usage
apply
are
love to take risks so that they can discover new things and the government gives them any kind of Unnecessary verb
apply
supports
. Fix the agreement mistake
support
Besides
, it is an opportunity to be a superhero among
a community. when a person will Change preposition
in
success
in their Replace the word
succeed
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
then
everyone will follow his ideality and able
to enjoy the facilities.
Add a missing verb
be able
On the other hand
, most of the time there is a fear of failure. Additionally
, when they fails
, they Change the verb form
fail
lost
their hopes. Wrong verb form
lose
For instance
, many people committed
suicide Wrong verb form
commit
due
to do not Change preposition
because
gets
their desired goals and it is a great hamper for a country. Verb problem
achieve
Moreover
, our community tag them as a loser. If they are not succeed
, they will be trolled by our society members. Change the verb form
do not succeed
Consequently
, next time they will not try to think for complete any difficult one, which damage
Change the verb form
damages
the
society from Correct article usage
apply
the
economic point.
In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages. Disadvantages create some impacts in our society but advantages will help to lead an easy life among the community members and if the government takes some concerns for drawbacks, individuals will not complain about Correct article usage
an
this
.Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly. This includes organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each and using topic sentences effectively.
Task Response
Although you have attempted to answer the question, developing your argument further would strengthen your essay. Expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples.
Content
You succeeded in providing examples to support your arguments, which helps to make your essay more convincing.
Content
Your essay touches on both sides of the argument, showing an attempt to consider the topic comprehensively.