Lots of place in this world rely on tourism as a main source of income . Do this trend advantages of outweigh disadvantages?
Currently, people have different views as to whether
that
Lots of places in the world depend on travellers as a main source of income. Despite the fact that relying too much on Correct word choice
apply
tourism
is the cause of many problems to
the local Change preposition
for
area
, I believe that travelling from overseas can import a lot of money
and many benefits in each area
.
On the one hand, relying too much on tourism
makes money
, there are some effects on these areas
due to
it not being sustainable and sometimes may have many issues. For instance
, pollution, the worsening environment and the way of life disappear.
On the other hand
, the income of many countries have
to rely on importing Change the verb form
has
money
from overseas. This
is due to
the fact that local people want to have economic growth in their area
. Moreover
, travelling will help to develop urbanisation and infrastructure because the place wants to respond to the satisfaction of tourists. In addition
, the local areas
can express interesting
, identity and culture which create value and Replace the word
interest
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
to
each Change preposition
for
area
in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
global
. Change the word
globally
For instance
, every province in Japan can create special attractions and gimmicks in suburban areas
. As a result
, It can make a lot of money
and there are equal facilities to
all Change preposition
in
areas
in
Japan.
In conclusion, not only income in many locations are imported by overseas Change preposition
of
tourism
but also
many advantages are created. For example
, urban expansion, new facilities, growing
economy, developing service jobs, the consumption of products and Correct article usage
a growing
coming
of technology. It is a benefit that follows Correct article usage
the coming
tourism
.Submitted by name79sinlapa on
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Coherence & Cohesion
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. For even better coherence, try linking your ideas more smoothly with transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, providing a balanced view with supporting examples. To aim higher, ensure that your arguments are not only clear but also deeply analyzed for a more critical perspective.
Introduction
Your introduction sets up the topic effectively, conveying your stance clearly from the beginning.
Use of Examples
You've utilized relevant examples to support your arguments, especially when discussing tourism's benefits in Japan, which makes your essay more convincing.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reiterating the benefits of tourism and its impact on economic development and urban expansion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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