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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Nowadays,
popularity
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the popularity
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 of working abroad has rapidly increased.
Global
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The global
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 world provides
oppurtunity
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opportunity
to
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for
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 individuals
for working
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to work
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 abroad.
People
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 believe that leaving
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country
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the country
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for working
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to work
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 abroad has both advantages and disadvantages.
To begin
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 with,
people
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work
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 in another
country
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 because there are more changes to make
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future for their
families
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.
For instance
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, many
people
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 start to live and
work
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 abroad because they do not feel safe in their
country
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 and that
country
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 pays well to their workers.
Moreover
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,
curriculum
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the curriculum
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 is one
msot curical
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most crucial
things
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thing
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 for
families
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 because every
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families
Change to a singular noun
family
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 want to send their children
better
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a better
show examples
school
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schools
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 and if a
country
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 has equal schooling for children, they will move there.
Thus
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, safety and teaching are the biggest
reason
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reasons
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 why
people
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 leave their
country
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 and
work
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 there.
Om
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On
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 the other hand, some
people
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 cannot adapt
that
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to that
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 nation culture.
For example
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, when
people
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 move to Germany from Turkey, individuals cannot adapt easily because of
language
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the language
a language
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 barrier and their working discipline.
In addition
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, everybody knows that most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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Germans religion is
christian
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Christian
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 but
general
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generally
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 turkish
imigrants
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immigrants
emigrants
 believe
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in islam
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islam
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Islam
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,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be
problem
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a problem
the problem
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.
Therefore
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, there are some difficulties when
people
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 leave their
country
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for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
. In conclusion, there are some advantages
for
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to
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 working abroad
such
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safety
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as safety
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 and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 curriculum for offspring but
also
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 there are some
barries
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barriers
show examples
 for
people
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 who
moved
Wrong verb form
move
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that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
cuntry
Correct your spelling
country
.
It is clear that
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 working abroad has both benefits and drawbacks for individuals and their
familiy
Correct your spelling
families
family
. If
families
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 are determined to handle difficulties, they can
easly
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easily
work
Use synonyms
 and live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.

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Structure
Consider improving the structure of your paragraphs to enhance clarity and flow. Start with a clear topic sentence, follow with supporting details, and conclude with a summarizing or linking sentence.
Examples
To boost your score, try to provide more diverse and specific examples that directly support your argument. This will add depth to your essay.
Grammar & Spelling
Work on the accuracy of your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Mistakes in these areas can distract from the message you are trying to convey.
Vocabulary
Expanding your range of vocabulary and working on spelling can help to make your points more convincingly. Avoid repeating the same words where possible and check for spelling errors in your work.
Task Response
You effectively addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a comprehensive understanding.
Coherence
You have used connectors (e.g., Moreover, Therefore) to link ideas, which helps in achieving coherence.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expatriate
  • cultural sensitivity
  • globalized
  • social network
  • acculturation
  • extended family
  • professional development
  • language barriers
  • visa issues
  • identity confusion
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