In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, people no longer die early all

round

Correct your spelling

around

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the world, the

aged

Replace the word

age

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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increasing.

While

Linking Words

some individuals believe

this

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trend causes

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

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for the

government

Use synonyms

, others argue that it is beneficial to the community. Personally, the profits are minimal when compared to its cons. There could be reasons for which having a more aged population

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

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a financial burden to the management, and a convincing one is that

authority

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authorities

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have to provide support for their basic needs like proper healthcare.

Similarly

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, most of them monthly receive retirement

pension

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pensions

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Therefore

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, when we have a large number of sick old people in society, the responsibility of the

government

Use synonyms

remarkable

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remarkably

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increases.

For instance

Linking Words

, the majority of old age which will always use the health insurance scheme

that is

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catered for by the executives.

Consequently

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, the

government

Use synonyms

spends plenty of money on

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insurance

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insurances

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insurance

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Hence

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, more number of graybeard is a huge economic burden to the

government

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However

Linking Words

, elders

also

Linking Words

have a positive influence on society, they can participate in some simple social volunteer activities which have a positive impact on building a better society. Volunteer activities involve maintaining community hygiene and supervising social security. But often fewer seniors actually assist

activities

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with activities

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than expected. Research in China

have

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has

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shown that the elders have a high willingness to attend it, with more than 70% of them would like to join.

However

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due to

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restrictions on participation channels,

participation

Correct word choice

and participation

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capabilities, the final percentage of participants is only about 40%. In conclusion, from my point of view

that

Correct word choice

apply

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the merits of having aged people in our countries overweight its weak

point

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points

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. Because even though they can help social construction, they impose an economic burden

that is

Linking Words

difficult for the

government

Use synonyms

to handle.

13220159858Wed May 01 2024

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Expansion on ideas

Consider expanding upon how the elderly population can contribute to society beyond volunteer activities, to balance the discussion and strengthen your argument on the benefits.

Linguistic Variety

Incorporate a wider range of structures and vocabulary to convey your points more effectively, which could enhance the reader's engagement and your score.

Clear Conclusion

Always make sure that your conclusion clearly reflects a balanced view if your essay discusses both sides to answer the question comprehensively.

Supportive Examples

Good use of examples to support points, which strengthens your argument.

Logical Structure

Clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding the reader's understanding.

Balanced Argument

Acknowledgement of both sides of the argument shows an ability to engage with complex ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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a growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited while other argue humans must employ animals for research and foods. discuss both views

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You took your family to a nearby restaurant.you were disapointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant.