In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, people no longer die early all
round
the world, the Correct your spelling
around
aged
Replace the word
age
are
increasing. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
While
some individuals believe this
trend causes troubles
for the Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
government
, others argue that it is beneficial to the community. Personally, the profits are minimal when compared to its cons.
There could be reasons for which having a more aged population bring
a financial burden to the management, and a convincing one is that Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
authority
have to provide support for their basic needs like proper healthcare. Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
Similarly
, most of them monthly receive retirement pension
. Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
Therefore
, when we have a large number of sick old people in society, the responsibility of the government
remarkable
increases. Change the word
remarkably
For instance
, the majority of old age which will always use the health insurance scheme that is
catered for by the executives. Consequently
, the government
spends plenty of money on Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
insurances
. Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
Hence
, more number of graybeard is a huge economic burden to the government
.
However
, elders also
have a positive influence on society, they can participate in some simple social volunteer activities which have a positive impact on building a better society. Volunteer activities involve maintaining community hygiene and supervising social security. But often fewer seniors actually assist activities
than expected. Research in China Change preposition
with activities
have
shown that the elders have a high willingness to attend it, with more than 70% of them would like to join. Change the verb form
has
However
, due to
restrictions on participation channels, participation
capabilities, the final percentage of participants is only about 40%.
In conclusion, from my point of view Correct word choice
and participation
that
the merits of having aged people in our countries overweight its weak Correct word choice
apply
point
. Because even though they can help social construction, they impose an economic burden Fix the agreement mistake
points
that is
difficult for the government
to handle.Submitted by 13220159858 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Expansion on ideas
Consider expanding upon how the elderly population can contribute to society beyond volunteer activities, to balance the discussion and strengthen your argument on the benefits.
Linguistic Variety
Incorporate a wider range of structures and vocabulary to convey your points more effectively, which could enhance the reader's engagement and your score.
Clear Conclusion
Always make sure that your conclusion clearly reflects a balanced view if your essay discusses both sides to answer the question comprehensively.
Supportive Examples
Good use of examples to support points, which strengthens your argument.
Logical Structure
Clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding the reader's understanding.
Balanced Argument
Acknowledgement of both sides of the argument shows an ability to engage with complex ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...