IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that visiting
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
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galleries
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not necessary as
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of the sources about culture and history are available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that
Correct article usage
the existance
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existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of
museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 crucial.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Many youngsters nowadays misuse the
internet
Use synonyms
. Without someone introducing them to it, they often fail to explore their culture and history. It is their parents and
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
 responsibility to make children aware of their past.
Thus
Linking Words
, the best way
for doing
Change preposition
to do
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that is
Linking Words
 to bring them to the
museums
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 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it could create an interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 exploring
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their ancestors.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
young
Add an article
the young
a young
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 population may review online about remote
museums
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 with a passion where they cannot go.
Secondly
Linking Words
, going to
museums
Use synonyms
 is the best way of putting yourself
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your ancestors’ shoes. Reading about it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 will never
give
Verb problem
have
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 the same effect as seeing your sights in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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real life.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 is better
to learn
Change preposition
for learning
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 basically about something.
However
Linking Words
, if you want to deepen into it you should see them alive.
For example
Linking Words
, I have realized that most of the things about Rome in
internet
Use synonyms
 sources were wrong when I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited Italy.
Additionally
Linking Words
, being in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical places assists you
to memorize
Change preposition
in memorizing
show examples
 that information better than just reading it online. In conclusion, I would have to mention that, in my opinion,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 would never be able to replace
museums
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, landmarks or
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction briefly outlines your argument to directly answer the question posed in the topic. You've made a good approach, but a more explicit statement in the introduction summarizing your stance would enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices and organizational patterns to clearly delineate your arguments and improve the reader's understanding. While your essay shows good coherence, incorporating more transitions could enhance the flow.
Language Use
Try to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to elevate the sophistication of your expression. This will also enrich the quality of your essay.
Task Achievement
To further support your argument, include more specific examples or evidence. You've touched upon your personal experience, which is great, but expanding on these with more details or including additional examples could strengthen your essay.
Accuracy
Review and proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical errors. While they do not significantly detract from the overall quality, refinement in this area could enhance the professionalism of your writing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively restates your opinion and summarizes your main points, strengthening the overall argument.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear stance throughout, maintaining task relevance and coherence in your argumentation.
Example Use
You provided a personal experience which adds depth to your argument and engages the reader.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • hands-on experience
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • cultural and historical artifacts
  • safeguarded
  • community engagement
  • heritage
  • authenticity
  • curated exhibits
  • scholarly input
  • misinformation
  • economic impact
  • tourism
  • emotional and aesthetic responses
  • atmosphere
  • ambiance
What to do next:
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