Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that visiting
museums
and
art
galleries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not necessary as
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
of the sources about culture and history are available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. I completely disagree with
this
opinion and think that
Correct article usage
the existance
show examples
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
of
museums
and
art
galleries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
crucial.
Firstly
, Many youngsters nowadays misuse the
internet
. Without someone introducing them to it, they often fail to explore their culture and history. It is their parents and
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
responsibility to make children aware of their past.
Thus
, the best way
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
that is
to bring them to the
museums
and
art
galleries
.
Moreover
, it could create an interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
exploring
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their ancestors.
Subsequently
,
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
population may review online about remote
museums
with a passion where they cannot go.
Secondly
, going to
museums
is the best way of putting yourself
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
your ancestors’ shoes. Reading about it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
will never
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
the same effect as seeing your sights in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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real life.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
is better
to learn
Change preposition
for learning
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basically about something.
However
, if you want to deepen into it you should see them alive.
For example
, I have realized that most of the things about Rome in
internet
sources were wrong when I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited Italy.
Additionally
, being in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical places assists you
to memorize
Change preposition
in memorizing
show examples
that information better than just reading it online. In conclusion, I would have to mention that, in my opinion,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
would never be able to replace
museums
, landmarks or
art
galleries
.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction briefly outlines your argument to directly answer the question posed in the topic. You've made a good approach, but a more explicit statement in the introduction summarizing your stance would enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices and organizational patterns to clearly delineate your arguments and improve the reader's understanding. While your essay shows good coherence, incorporating more transitions could enhance the flow.
Language Use
Try to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to elevate the sophistication of your expression. This will also enrich the quality of your essay.
Task Achievement
To further support your argument, include more specific examples or evidence. You've touched upon your personal experience, which is great, but expanding on these with more details or including additional examples could strengthen your essay.
Accuracy
Review and proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical errors. While they do not significantly detract from the overall quality, refinement in this area could enhance the professionalism of your writing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively restates your opinion and summarizes your main points, strengthening the overall argument.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear stance throughout, maintaining task relevance and coherence in your argumentation.
Example Use
You provided a personal experience which adds depth to your argument and engages the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • hands-on experience
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • cultural and historical artifacts
  • safeguarded
  • community engagement
  • heritage
  • authenticity
  • curated exhibits
  • scholarly input
  • misinformation
  • economic impact
  • tourism
  • emotional and aesthetic responses
  • atmosphere
  • ambiance
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