The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the buiding industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the buiding industry. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram describes the way in which
bricks
are made for the building industry.
Overall
, there are five main steps in the
process
of producing
bricks
, starting from digging up the ground and ending with packaging procedures.
According to
the first stage, it can be observed that the
clay
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to make the
bricks
is dug up from the ground by a large digger.
This
clay
is
then
placed onto a metal grid which is used to break up the
clay
into small pieces. In
this
process
, a roller is
also
added to assist.
Following
this
, sand and water are added to the
clay
, and
then
a received mixture is turned into
bricks
by either placing it into a mould or using a wire cutter. Afterwards, the
process
continues with
bricks
Fix the agreement mistake
brick
show examples
drying procedures
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
1-2 days. In the subsequent stage, the
bricks
go through a heating and cooling
process
. They are heated in a kiln at a moderate and
then
a high temperature, within 870-1300 C, followed by a cooling
process
in a chamber for 48-72 hours, which is equal to 2-3 days.
Finally
, after whole above written moments, it can be demonstrated that the
bricks
are ready for packaging and
consequently
for delivering to customers.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks, process, clay with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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