IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

he diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

he diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
#diagrams #show #park #first
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The provided illustration shows the floor plan of a public
park
Use synonyms
 when it was opened in 1920
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the current condition.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
park
Use synonyms
 size and location remain the same. It is in between two roads which are Arnold Avenue and Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
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.
However
Linking Words
, there were changes in the location of existing sections inside the
park
Use synonyms
 and new functions were added. In the past, the fountain was in the middle of the
park
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. Meanwhile, it was replaced by the Rose
garden
Capitalize word
Garden
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 and seats.
In addition
Linking Words
, the café was constructed recently near the Arnold Avenue entrance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a pond for water plants was removed and a children’s playground was built at the same place which is next to the café.
Also
Linking Words
, the stage for musicians which
located
Add a missing verb
is located
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 on the left side of the Rose
garden
Capitalize word
Garden
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 when entering from Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 was substituted by the amphitheatre for concerts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a new underground carpark entrance near the water feature which replaced the glasshouse.
Submitted by Punpun on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transformation
  • developments
  • modifications
  • landscaping
  • recreational needs
  • enhance
  • functionality
  • vegetation
  • environmental conservation
  • infrastructure improvements
  • community involvement
  • diverse groups
  • outdoor activities
  • environmental stewardship
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