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Band 4.5

he diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

he diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
#diagrams #show #park #first
The provided illustration shows the floor plan of a public
park
 when it was opened in 1920
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the current condition.
Overall
, the
park
 size and location remain the same. It is in between two roads which are Arnold Avenue and Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
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.
However
, there were changes in the location of existing sections inside the
park
 and new functions were added. In the past, the fountain was in the middle of the
park
. Meanwhile, it was replaced by the Rose
garden
Capitalize word
Garden
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 and seats.
In addition
, the café was constructed recently near the Arnold Avenue entrance.
Moreover
, a pond for water plants was removed and a children’s playground was built at the same place which is next to the café.
Also
, the stage for musicians which
located
Add a missing verb
is located
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 on the left side of the Rose
garden
Capitalize word
Garden
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 when entering from Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 was substituted by the amphitheatre for concerts.
Furthermore
, there is a new underground carpark entrance near the water feature which replaced the glasshouse.
Submitted by Punpun on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transformation
  • developments
  • modifications
  • landscaping
  • recreational needs
  • enhance
  • functionality
  • vegetation
  • environmental conservation
  • infrastructure improvements
  • community involvement
  • diverse groups
  • outdoor activities
  • environmental stewardship
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