Ensuring that regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lesson as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?
Schools
should give more importance for
academics and not spend their Change preposition
to
time
on teaching sports activities
, and it is the responsibility of their parents to ensure that their children
are regularly involved in physical activities
. In this
essay, I totally agree with this
statement.
The first reason why I believe that parents can teach sports activities
for children
and schools
should not focus on them is because there are a lot of portions to cover in their curriculum. Nowadays, competitions have increased to
a lot and Change preposition
apply
children
are needed
to be trained to cope Wrong verb form
need
up
with the academic subjects demands. Many universities select their students based on their academic performance and the scores they got in their main subjects. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, schools
should give more attentions
to academics than spending Fix the agreement mistake
attention
time
on playing activities
. For instance
, teachers can utilise the physical training periods to teach maths formulas in an
interesting or fun ways, which will help them to memorise them and perform well in their exams.
Correct article usage
apply
In addition
to this
, schools
should inculcate computer
skills
instead
of providing time
to play. These days, computer
knowlege
is one of the important Correct your spelling
knowledge
skill
, which is useful for students to develop their Fix the agreement mistake
skills
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Children
who excell
in technology can utilize their computers to prepare presentations and assertations using that. If they lack those Correct your spelling
excel
skills
, they will struggle to complete their education with high scores because the
most of their study work Correct article usage
apply
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
for
the help of Change preposition
apply
computer
knowledge. For example
, in India, learners who are expert
in Fix the agreement mistake
experts
computer
skills
make project
for Tech companies, which Fix the agreement mistake
projects
help
to establish their knowledge Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
in
Change preposition
at
their
early ageChange the word
an
itself
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Correct pronoun usage
apply
school
should give a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
schools
time
in covering their academic subjects and to provide the children
with soft skills
to enhance their future careers.Submitted by prasadjul1986 on
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Task Response
Make sure to present both sides of the argument before concluding, as you have a strong stance. Representing opposing views, even briefly, can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Language and Style
Consider integrating a wider variety of sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing.
Introduction and Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that aligned well with your argument, supporting your stance effectively.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, making it easy for readers to follow your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite