IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some people think that government should give high salary to the celebrities but others think it should be provided to doctors and teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Linking Words
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 is more important to improving the
country
Use synonyms
, so some people
beleve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
gave
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 better
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities
whine
Correct your spelling
while
show examples
 others believe that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend
the high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors
Use synonyms
 and teachers.
Body · 1
on one hand, the high
salary
Use synonyms
 to the celebrities
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
Body · 2
improve the
cotial
Correct your spelling
social
total
mieda
Correct your spelling
media
 on the
country
Use synonyms
.in fact, the cotil mida it will be
bettre
Correct your spelling
better
 for the
government
Use synonyms
 and the company to use that in the different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to make
many
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
. a study
in A
Correct your spelling
In a
show examples
 study published by New York University in 2013 60%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
Correct your spelling
taking
teaking
Correct your spelling
speaking
Body · 3
a beg many for the high
salary
Use synonyms
 to the celebrities.
Body · 4
on the other, hand the high
Correct your spelling
salary
salery
Correct your spelling
salary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
doctors
Use synonyms
 and the teachers
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 idea
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 to improve the
Correct your spelling
country
countey
Correct your spelling
country
.in
Correct your spelling
In addition
iddition
Correct your spelling
addition
 thy will be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
incesd
Correct your spelling
incest
Body · 5
for the
paitiont
Correct your spelling
patient
paint
becaus
Correct your spelling
because
 the doctor will be enjoyed
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high
salary
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, the
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
government
Use synonyms
 gave the
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
teachrs
Correct your spelling
teachers
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best medical hospitals in the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the best way to improve the
country
Use synonyms
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
geve
Correct your spelling
give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
salery
Correct your spelling
salary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors
Use synonyms
 and teachers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar & Spelling
Consider revising the essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Frequent spelling and grammatical errors can make the text difficult to understand.
Argument Development
Work on developing your arguments more thoroughly with clear, concise points and supporting examples. Although you have attempted to discuss both views and provided an opinion, the arguments can be more effectively developed and supported.
Paragraph Organization
Focus on organizing your paragraphs in a clear, logical manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the previous one to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Clear Conclusion
Your essay presents a clear stance in its conclusion, which is good for task achievement.
Task Understanding
You attempted to discuss both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: