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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Discuss the benefits of this development and problems associated with it.

#year #school #university #development
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Nowadays, in
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 generation
Pipil
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of Pipil
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 it's becoming really common to have a
year
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gap
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 before joining
university
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. It includes numerous advantages like,
stress
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free
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stress-free
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year
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 and fulfilling their dreams.
This
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 essay will examine
advantages
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the advantages
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 and disadvantages of a
year
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gap
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 and provide a logical conclusion. In
this
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 era, many students have
stress
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 in daily life it can be related to
assigments
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assignments
, weekly
test
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tests
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 or fulfilling
parents
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parents'
parent's
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expectation
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expectations
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 throughout the period.
This
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 is the reason numerous students want
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year
Correct article usage
a year
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gap
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 to
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stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
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 their
mind
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minds
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 and to improve their mental health by
traveling
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travelling
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 in mountainous or river areas or spending time with their loved
one
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ones
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 like parents and close
one
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apply
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fridends
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friends
 and
acquaintance
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acquaintances
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.
On the other hand
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, many people take a
year
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gap
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 to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their dreams like
to start
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starting
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 a business or
beforing joinning
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before joining
university
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 they
wants
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want
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 to
important
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do important
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 research about their field.
However
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, there are
also
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 many drawbacks
of
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to
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 having a
year
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gap
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.
Firstly
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, after a
year
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gap
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university
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 will ask the reason and that might
can
Verb problem
apply
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be problematic for getting admission.
Likewise
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, a
year
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gap
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 can lead you to
lesson
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lessen
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 the taunt of
neigbours
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neighbours
 and your parents
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also
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and also
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 some
of
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apply
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relatives.
Lastly
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 after having a
year
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gap
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 all of your school friends will be your senior at
university
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 which might
can left
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leave
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 you with some regrets in future.
To conclude
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,
although
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 having a
year
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gap
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 has certain disadvantages
but
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apply
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the advantages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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outweigh
like
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apply
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,
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stress free
Replace the word
like a stress-free
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year
Use synonyms
 and
fulflling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 dreams.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

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Specific Examples
Consider expanding on your examples more specifically to show how they directly relate to the benefits and problems of taking a year gap. This can provide a stronger, more vivid argument for your points.
Language/ Grammar
Try to maintain consistency in your writing by avoiding informal language and ensuring subject-verb agreement throughout your essay. For instance, 'Pipil' seems to be used incorrectly, and 'beforing joinning university they wants to important research' contains several grammatical errors.
Transitions
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs by using more linking phrases or transition words. This can help guide your reader more smoothly from one point to the next, enhancing coherence.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, effectively outlining the advantages and disadvantages of a gap year.
Task Response
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, which demonstrates a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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