Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of
people
tend to spend their days by
doing similar routines without any modification whilst others consider that modifying their daily habits permanently Change preposition
apply
always
an efficient consideration. Add a missing verb
is always
This
essay will discuss both sides and my opinion as to agree with both views.
To begin
with, doing the same things daily offers individuals some advantages which are considered to be very useful in their social and work lives. On the other hand
, people
can make few
mistakes by doing their old routines when they are familiar with every situation. Correct article usage
a few
Therefore
, when they facing
difficulties, they tend to behave as they usually do, which makes them feel independent and comfortable in any situation. Wrong verb form
face
For example
, I am a morning person. If my future work place
insists Correct your spelling
workplace
me
Correct pronoun usage
I
to
be ready at work at seven am, I will rapidly find it easy because I do it all the time.
Fix the infinitive
apply
On the other hand
, those people
who believe that alterations are very good in activity have their own perspective opinions that cannot be overlooked. Getting used to few
habits has several disadvantages. Correct article usage
a few
For example
, doing a lot of physical exercises to build your body properly will not enhance mental health even though you want to improve it.
To sum up
, I think that both statements showcase advantages
and disadvantages of whether Correct article usage
the advantages
people
can continue to do their old activities without modifycation
or whether they should change their routine regularly.Correct your spelling
modification
Submitted by nazim200709 on
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Introduction & Thesis
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but a clearer thesis statement that directly states your opinion would strengthen it. While you mention agreeing with both views, explicitly outlining your stance or how you reconcile both views in the introduction could improve clarity.
Transition & Structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure, with paragraphs dedicated to differing views. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using phrases such as "On the other hand..." or "Moreover..." tells the reader a new point is coming but integrating transition sentences that also connect back to the previous paragraph will enhance flow.
Examples & Support
Using concrete examples strengthens your argument, like the personal example about being a morning person. Further elaboration on this with more detailed scenarios or statistics could further enhance your arguments and make your points more convincing.
Balanced Discussion
You have done well discussing both views on change versus routine, providing a balanced perspective.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well, reinforcing your discussion without introducing new information.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite