: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often considered by some menageries are inhuman and should be banned by governments animal conservatories in undeveloped countries. There, many servants even are not specialists in
while
there are people who disagree with this
and think zoos
are helpful to protect endangered species
. While
some support their opinion with reasonable arguments like numerous animals suffer in cramped cages and are not looked after correctly , others consider the animal collection a safe place for breeding and important to increase public knowledge and affection for environment
and I rely on their arguments. Add an article
the environment
This
essay will discuss two side views.
The public who protest captivating and exhibiting fauna at the cages count on some undeniable reasons. Firstly
, Captivity causes distress to beasts and shortens their life expectancy than wildlife. Because the numerous pathogens and effects lead to some ailment that does not appear in nature . In addition
, there is such
a viewpoint, zoo
workers do not take care of animals sincerely especiallyCorrect word choice
that zoo
Change preposition
in
this
field. For example
, the latest statistics show that 15 per cent of the sudden deaths of creatures in cages are due to
the irresponsibility and ignorance of vets at the zoos
.
The public who advocate protecting wildlife in captivity despite having objective views argue
that bringing up new offspring of endangered Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
species
and sparking interest children to the flora and fauna are the main reasons for saving zoos
in urban places. During the last
surveys, general residents of cities agreed with this
opinion. In addition
, zoos
are free factors that rare kinds encounter in wildlife. It contributes and make
faster revitalizing Change the verb form
makes
this
species
. A typical example of this
increasing the number of cheetahs in the Namibian conservation zone rapidly from 2 to 13 individuals.
To conclude
, while
some support banning menageries and consider them injurious to creatures, there are people that
pay attention helpful side of Correct pronoun usage
who
zoos
like the importance of them in breeding species
and kindling general public interest in nature. By considering the argument I guess the latter view is more reliable and I support it.Submitted by Teo Halimov on
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Structure
Ensure clarity in your arguments by structuring your essay into distinct paragraphs for each point of view, including your own.
Language
Use varied sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to elevate your writing. This will help in expressing your points more effectively and engagingly.
Evidence
Support your arguments with specific examples or evidence. While you have provided some, adding more concrete and detailed examples could strengthen your position.
Grammar and Fluency
Revise the essay to correct any grammatical errors and improve the fluency of your writing. Effective proofreading can significantly enhance the clarity of your message.
Task Response
You have effectively addressed both views and provided a clear opinion, which is essential for a high Task Achievement score.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, contributing to a high score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Cohesive Devices
You've utilized a range of linking phrases to connect ideas and arguments, enhancing the flow of your essay.