Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years,
progresses
in transportation Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
have
diminished the impacts of physical barriers, which opens the accessibility to broader resources. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
This
change also
impacted on
food Change preposition
apply
travels
. Fix the agreement mistake
travel
While
foods are being transport
Change the verb form
are being transported
are transporting
in
long distances, some argue that Change preposition
apply
this
change is lack
of environmental and Correct article usage
a lack
economical
considerations. In my point of view, I agree with the negative impacts on our surroundings, but I Replace the word
economic
also
believe that it posses
certain advantages.
On one hand, advocates Wrong verb form
possesses
argues
that consuming foods from local can reduce carbon footprint during Change the verb form
argue
transport
stage, adding Correct article usage
the transport
on
Change preposition
apply
the
freshness is strongly improved. Correct your spelling
that
For example
, grocery shopping in the local markets is a practical way of discovering the most fresh ingredients, and also
they are often produced by farmers in the area. Also
, consuming domestic food products
can help reviving
the local stores Wrong verb form
revive
who
might be struggling to survive.
Correct pronoun usage
that
However
, It is not practical to completely cut down on consuming foreign products
. Mass production allow
companies to lower costs, and friendly prices are one of the Change the verb form
allows
determined
factors in consumer Replace the word
determining
behavior
. Considering financial conditions, minorities in Change the spelling
behaviour
the
society might not have extra budgets to support Correct article usage
apply
environmental
friendly actions, Change the word
environmentally
in contrast
, they might choose the cheapest one for only maintaining basic needs. Moreover
, certain crops or ingredients are produced in certain areas, and they all serves
different roles for our health. IntakeChange the verb form
serve
a
broader range of Change preposition
of a
products
diversifies our diet and nutrition.
In my opinion, both practice
Change to a plural noun
practices
posses
merits, and moderate practice should be implemented for Correct your spelling
possess
better
good. Add an article
the better
Consume
domestic foods can avoid discharging excessive greenhouse gases, and help Wrong verb form
Consuming
with
control climate change. Yet, Change preposition
apply
encompass
versatile Wrong verb form
encompassing
nutritions
in diet serves a crucial role in maintaining a comprehensive health condition. Intaking a proper proportion of imported Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
products
completes our health.Submitted by lil40629890 on
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Introduction clarity
Try to present your argument more clearly in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay.
Transitional phrases
Use a wider range of cohesive devices for coherence; transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
Language variety
Incorporate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your expression.
Answering the prompt
Consider directly addressing the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in your conclusion.
Balanced Argument
Good job on presenting a balanced view on the topic with clear supports for both sides.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to support your points.
Essay Structure
The essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion) is well organized.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.