Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years,
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
in transportation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
diminished the impacts of physical barriers, which opens the accessibility to broader resources.
This
change
also
impacted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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.
While
foods
are being transport
Change the verb form
are being transported
are transporting
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long distances, some argue that
this
change is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of environmental and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
considerations. In my point of view, I agree with the negative impacts on our surroundings, but I
also
believe that it
posses
Wrong verb form
possesses
show examples
certain advantages. On one hand, advocates
argues
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argue
show examples
that consuming foods from local can reduce carbon footprint during
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
stage, adding
on
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apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
freshness is strongly improved.
For example
, grocery shopping in the local markets is a practical way of discovering the most fresh ingredients, and
also
they are often produced by farmers in the area.
Also
, consuming domestic food
products
can help
reviving
Wrong verb form
revive
show examples
the local stores
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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might be struggling to survive.
However
, It is not practical to completely cut down on consuming foreign
products
. Mass production
allow
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allows
show examples
companies to lower costs, and friendly prices are one of the
determined
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determining
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factors in consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. Considering financial conditions, minorities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society might not have extra budgets to support
environmental
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environmentally
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friendly actions,
in contrast
, they might choose the cheapest one for only maintaining basic needs.
Moreover
, certain crops or ingredients are produced in certain areas, and they all
serves
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serve
show examples
different roles for our health. Intake
a
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of a
show examples
broader range of
products
diversifies our diet and nutrition. In my opinion, both
practice
Change to a plural noun
practices
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posses
Correct your spelling
possess
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merits, and moderate practice should be implemented for
better
Add an article
the better
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good.
Consume
Wrong verb form
Consuming
show examples
domestic foods can avoid discharging excessive greenhouse gases, and help
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
control climate change. Yet,
encompass
Wrong verb form
encompassing
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versatile
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
in diet serves a crucial role in maintaining a comprehensive health condition. Intaking a proper proportion of imported
products
completes our health.
Submitted by lil40629890 on

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Introduction clarity
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Transitional phrases
Use a wider range of cohesive devices for coherence; transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
Language variety
Incorporate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your expression.
Answering the prompt
Consider directly addressing the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in your conclusion.
Balanced Argument
Good job on presenting a balanced view on the topic with clear supports for both sides.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples to support your points.
Essay Structure
The essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion) is well organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Local economies
  • Small-scale farmers
  • Indigenous crops
  • Fresher produce
  • Biodiversity
  • Global trade
  • Interdependence
  • Economic insularity
  • Transportation distance
  • Seasonal restrictions
  • Cultivation
What to do next:
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