IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think directors in big companies should get paid a lot, while others think that directors' high salaries are not fair. In this essay will be discussed both these sides and opinion

#people #directors #companies #salaries
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Directors
Use synonyms
 must get much amount of salary to make crucial decisions that directly impact the success of the company.
For example
Linking Words
, many managers
work
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 long hours, deal with complicated stuff, and face though challenges. So, high salaries are needed to attract talented
directors
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 and motivate them to do their best. Others believe that
directors
Use synonyms
' high salaries are not fair because they create a big gap between top executives and regular
employees
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can make
employees
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 feel unappreciated and unhappy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, paying
directors
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 too much might make them focus on making quick profits
instead
Linking Words
 of doing what's best for the company in the long run. In my view, it's good to pay
directors
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 well for their hard
work
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, but it's
also
Linking Words
 important to make sure that everyone in the company is treated fairly to increase their full potential and hardworking. Companies should have clear rules about salaries, give bonuses based on performance .
For example
Linking Words
, in Apple companies there are essentiall to pay an extra fee for those
employees
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, who help to drive sustainability business growth. In conclusion, a fair and balanced fee among
employees
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 and
directors
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 is essential for keep a positive
work
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 and higher
work
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 performances.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Introduction
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the essay question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Evidence & Examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will strengthen your essay.
Grammar & Accuracy
Revise your essay to correct small grammatical and spelling errors for greater clarity.
Task Response
You provided a balanced view, examining both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Evidence & Examples
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to Apple, helps to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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