In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #care #think #service #government

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lot

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large

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number

of countries

governed

Wrong verb form

govern

show examples

that citizens must spend their own money for their personal

healthcare

. Many

people

argue that medical needs should be considered as a free public service provided by the

government

. I completely agree that the necessity of

health

matters is part of human rights and every

government

should establish a policy that

regulate

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regulates

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a free

healthcare

service in many forms

such

as national insurance and creating

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apply

show examples

mass development in

regional

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a regional

the regional

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hospital

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hospitals

show examples

Firstly

high

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a high

the high

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number

of poverty

make

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makes

show examples

people

unable to access

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apply

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proper

health

service

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services

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, which

led

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leads

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to an increase in death rates. In many Asian countries, where poverty grew higher every year has caused

sanitasion

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sanitation

problems and untreated disease

due to

lack of knowledge and financial problems.

For example

, many

people

in Indonesia

has

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have

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difficulties

to pay

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paying

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for their own personal medical needs,

thus

the

government

succesfully

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successfully

released a new program to help them by providing

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apply

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free national insurance, commonly known as "BPJS".BPJS can be utilized by a wide range of society, from low-class to middle-class individuals. They can easily use BPJS at any hospital, including private ones

Secondly

people

in rural areas are

oftenly

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often

faced with

obstacle

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obstacles

show examples

such

as the lack of decent

healthcare

facilities nearby.

Unavailability

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The unavailability

show examples

of medical facilities could make

people

suffered

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suffer

show examples

more than everyone could thought, especially in emergency

condition

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conditions

show examples

For instance

, there was only

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

amount of large

hospital

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hospitals

show examples

located in small

village

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villages

show examples

in Indonesia

due to

the geographical conditions and

number

health

worke

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workers

. The

government

tried to escalate the

number

health

facilities by constructing a public

health

center

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centre

show examples

in every neighbourhood so it could be easily

accesible

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accessible

for every

villagers

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village

show examples

. In conclusion, poverty has been a major factor that

people

in many countries

suffered

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suffer

show examples

to get

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apply

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decent

healthcare

This

problem can be solved by providing

a free medical services

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free medical services

a free medical service

show examples

given by the

government

through several programs,

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apply

show examples

free national insurance and

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhancing

show examples

the

number

of public

health

center

Fix the agreement mistake

centers

show examples

in small areas.

Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on Thu May 02 2024

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Grammar and Style

Ensure consistent and accurate usage of complex sentences to add clarity and sophistication to your arguments.

Vocabulary

Work on improving the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary to make arguments more compelling.

Structure

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are not only present but also clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points persuasively.

Examples

Provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, particularly the use of 'BPJS' as an example of government-supported healthcare.

Structure

You have a clear logical structure in your essay, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point that supports your overall argument.

Understanding

You displayed a comprehensive understanding of the essay topic and provided a thorough response.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal coverage
equity
fundamental human right
out-of-pocket expenses
financial hardship
preventative measures
social contract
quality of care
high demand
limited resources
tax implications
budget priorities
universal healthcare systems
public health
disease burden

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