In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A
lot
Correct your spelling
large
number
of countries governed
that citizens must spend their own money for their personal Wrong verb form
govern
healthcare
. Many people
argue that medical needs should be considered as a free public service provided by the government
. I completely agree that the necessity of health
matters is part of human rights and every government
should establish a policy that regulate
a free Change the verb form
regulates
healthcare
service in many forms such
as national insurance and creating a
mass development in Correct article usage
apply
regional
Add an article
a regional
the regional
hospital
.
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
Firstly
, high
Change the article
a high
the high
number
of poverty make
Change the verb form
makes
people
unable to access a
proper Correct article usage
apply
health
service
, which Fix the agreement mistake
services
led
to an increase in death rates. In many Asian countries, where poverty grew higher every year has caused Wrong verb form
leads
sanitasion
problems and untreated disease Correct your spelling
sanitation
due to
lack of knowledge and financial problems. For example
, many people
in Indonesia has
difficulties Change the verb form
have
to pay
for their own personal medical needs, Change the verb form
paying
thus
the government
succesfully
released a new program to help them by providing Correct your spelling
successfully
a
free national insurance, commonly known as "BPJS".BPJS can be utilized by a wide range of society, from low-class to middle-class individuals. They can easily use BPJS at any hospital, including private ones
Remove the article
apply
Secondly
, people
in rural areas are oftenly
faced with Correct your spelling
often
obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
such
as the lack of decent healthcare
facilities nearby. Unavailability
of medical facilities could make Correct article usage
The unavailability
people
suffered
more than everyone could thought, especially in emergency Wrong verb form
suffer
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
For instance
, there was only small
amount of large Correct article usage
a small
hospital
located in small Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
village
in Indonesia Fix the agreement mistake
villages
due to
the geographical conditions and number
of health
worke
. The Correct your spelling
workers
government
tried to escalate the number
of health
facilities by constructing a public health
center
in every neighbourhood so it could be easily Change the spelling
centre
accesible
for every Correct your spelling
accessible
villagers
.
In conclusion, poverty has been a major factor that Replace the word
village
people
in many countries suffered
to get Wrong verb form
suffer
a
decent Remove the article
apply
healthcare
. This
problem can be solved by providing a free medical services
given by the Correct the article-noun agreement
free medical services
a free medical service
government
through several programs, a
free national insurance and Remove the article
apply
enhance
the Wrong verb form
enhancing
number
of public health
center
in small areas.Fix the agreement mistake
centers
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Grammar and Style
Ensure consistent and accurate usage of complex sentences to add clarity and sophistication to your arguments.
Vocabulary
Work on improving the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary to make arguments more compelling.
Structure
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are not only present but also clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points persuasively.
Examples
Provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, particularly the use of 'BPJS' as an example of government-supported healthcare.
Structure
You have a clear logical structure in your essay, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point that supports your overall argument.
Understanding
You displayed a comprehensive understanding of the essay topic and provided a thorough response.