In some countries, people of all age groups engage in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or disadvantages of this trend?
In the modern world , exercise or training is integral to our daily existence . Different age groups are actively involved in it . Others
claims
that some of them are over-training . Change the verb form
claim
This
trend presents both advantages and disadvantages.However
, in my opinion , drawbacks
outweigh the benefits .Correct article usage
the drawbacks
This
essay will examine the rationale behind this
phenomenon.
On one side , There are different types of exercise which makes
all Correct subject-verb agreement
make
generation
keep fit as a fiddle Fix the agreement mistake
generations
such
yoga
, running , Change preposition
as yoga
gym
. Doctors always suggest Correct word choice
and gym
the
people Correct your spelling
that
to
exercise regularly not only for physical growth but Remove the particle
apply
also
for mental health. For instance
, individuals who go to gym
Add an article
the gym
as well as
doing
yoga frequently Wrong verb form
do
,
will look young , active and less Remove the comma
apply
stress
Replace the word
stressed
compares
to others . Wrong verb form
compared
In addition
to that , contemporary
lifestyle Correct article usage
the contemporary
gives
mental stress Verb problem
causes
due to
work schedules . By picking
one Change preposition
Picking
sport
activity Fix the agreement mistake
sports
help
them to get rid of stress Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
as a result
it makes life happy .
On the other hand
, over doing
anything is dangerous to the Correct your spelling
overdoing
body
. Some times
leads to major injuries as we can see in the news many sports players Correct your spelling
Sometimes
broken
their legs Add a missing verb
have broken
as well as
hands .For example
, well known
Indian cricket player Hardik Pandya , Add a hyphen
well-known
break
his hand Wrong verb form
broke
while
try
to catch the ball which Change the form of the verb
trying
make
him Change the verb form
makes
to
rest for 2 months and out of Change the verb form
apply
World
Cup Correct article usage
the World
match
. Correct subject-verb agreement
matches
Further more
,a 45 years old man fainted and died Correct your spelling
Furthermore
while
he was excessively running on treadmill
to Add an article
a treadmill
the treadmill
loose
Replace the word
lose
body
weight .Body
will notCorrect article usage
The body
takes
anything beyond Change the verb form
take
it's
limit.
Replace the word
its
To sum up
, sport
activities and exercises are good not only Change the noun form
sports
keep
us fit but Fix the infinitive
to keep
also
healthy through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
the
life .Correct article usage
apply
However
, overdoing can leads
to abusing own Change the verb form
lead
body
, some times
it could end up Correct your spelling
sometimes
to
death .Change preposition
in
Submitted by nikhilguni on
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Sentence Structure
Work on varying your sentence structures for more complexity and fluency.
Grammar
Be mindful of occasional grammatical errors and typos that detract from readability.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly.
Structure
Your essay presents a clear structure with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making your argument easy to follow.
Use of Examples
You have effectively used examples, such as the reference to Hardik Pandya, to support your points, which enriches your argument.
Task Achievement
You've shown an ability to discuss both sides of the argument before stating your own viewpoint, demonstrating good task achievement.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...