IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

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Despite being generally illegal, punishing physical still
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
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 in some countries of the world.
Due to
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the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 fact, some people argue that physical
punishment
Use synonyms
 is one of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
Use synonyms
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to guide
children
Use synonyms
 to the right
way
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. From my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement and
this
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 essay will provide the reasons for
this
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 opinion. There can be
fund
Correct your spelling
a
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 myriad of reasons why I do not agree with
this
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 view about physical
punishment
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.
Firstly
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can say that it is not just physical
punishment
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, because it can impact effect for both mental health too.
Although
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 it seems like a physical
punishment
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way
Use synonyms
 to bring up
children
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, it would be
reason
Add an article
a reason
the reason
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 to
loose
Replace the word
lose
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 reason to live. Physical
punishment
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 can not improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of school studying,
while
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 it is affecting for child's mental health.
Additionally
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, parents have  a huge role in
Correct article usage
a child's
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child's
Correct article usage
a child's
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 life.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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parents perform as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 for their kids. If
children
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 are punished physically regularly, it
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 not be better for
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation.
Children
Use synonyms
 may think that it is okay to punish physically.
As a result
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,
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation may suffer from
this
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way
Use synonyms
 of bringing up. During the period of research which was for it is efficient that bringing up like
this
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, it became clear that it is not
good
Correct article usage
a good
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way
Use synonyms
 approach to correct
children
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. When
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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do
Change the verb form
does
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 not know why they are punished or what should they correct,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 is no correction,
children
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 still fo the same
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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.
Instead
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 of
this
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,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 should teach
how
Correct pronoun usage
them how
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 to correct the mistake which was
done
Verb problem
made
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 by them by heart.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am always
explained
Verb problem
told
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 by
parents
Correct pronoun usage
my parents
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 how to do something correctly whenever
i
Change the capitalization
I
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did
Verb problem
make
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mistake
Correct article usage
a mistake
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.
Thus
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can fully understand my mistake and try to not do it again.
To conclude
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, because of the reasons mentioned above,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 totally disagree with
this
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 kind of
way
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 to bring up.
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Due to
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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fact, it
impact enormously
Verb problem
affects
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teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
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 mental health and
that is
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 why it
abandoned
Add a missing verb
is abandoned
show examples
.

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Grammar & Syntax
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures to improve clarity and flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Work on using a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas and arguments.
Expression and Clarity
Focus on clearer and more direct expression of ideas to enhance understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a variety of linking words to improve the cohesion and coherence of your essay.
Supporting Arguments
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments for a stronger impact.
Position Clarity
The essay provides a clear position against physical punishment, maintaining it throughout the text.
Essay Structure
Your essay structure is generally good, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Addressing
You consistently address the topic and provide reasons for your opinion, which is good for task response.
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