IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

#punishment #countries #argue #parents #right #children
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Despite being generally illegal, punishing physical still
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
 in some countries of the world.
Due to
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 fact, some people argue that physical
punishment
 is one of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to guide
children
 to the right
way
. From my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will provide the reasons for
this
 opinion. There can be
fund
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 myriad of reasons why I do not agree with
this
 view about physical
punishment
.
Firstly
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can say that it is not just physical
punishment
, because it can impact effect for both mental health too.
Although
 it seems like a physical
punishment
way
 to bring up
children
, it would be
reason
Add an article
a reason
the reason
show examples
 to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 reason to live. Physical
punishment
 can not improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of school studying,
while
 it is affecting for child's mental health.
Additionally
, parents have  a huge role in
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 life.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents perform as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for their kids. If
children
 are punished physically regularly, it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not be better for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation.
Children
 may think that it is okay to punish physically.
As a result
,
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation may suffer from
this
way
 of bringing up. During the period of research which was for it is efficient that bringing up like
this
, it became clear that it is not
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
way
 approach to correct
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. When
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not know why they are punished or what should they correct,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is no correction,
children
 still fo the same
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Instead
 of
this
,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 should teach
how
Correct pronoun usage
them how
show examples
 to correct the mistake which was
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
 by them by heart.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am always
explained
Verb problem
told
show examples
 by
parents
Correct pronoun usage
my parents
show examples
 how to do something correctly whenever
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
did
Verb problem
make
show examples
mistake
Correct article usage
a mistake
show examples
.
Thus
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can fully understand my mistake and try to not do it again.
To conclude
, because of the reasons mentioned above,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally disagree with
this
 kind of
way
 to bring up.
Due to
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fact, it
impact enormously
Verb problem
affects
show examples
teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
show examples
 mental health and
that is
 why it
abandoned
Add a missing verb
is abandoned
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Grammar & Syntax
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures to improve clarity and flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Work on using a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas and arguments.
Expression and Clarity
Focus on clearer and more direct expression of ideas to enhance understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a variety of linking words to improve the cohesion and coherence of your essay.
Supporting Arguments
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments for a stronger impact.
Position Clarity
The essay provides a clear position against physical punishment, maintaining it throughout the text.
Essay Structure
Your essay structure is generally good, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Addressing
You consistently address the topic and provide reasons for your opinion, which is good for task response.
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