In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

With the advancements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology, schools
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
many places have to face many challenges and
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
difficult one would be changing
manners
Correct article usage
the manners
show examples
of the
students
. There are many reasons behind
this
but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
problems
affecting the
children
's behaviour
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the common
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
This
can be overcome by not
giving
Verb problem
putting
show examples
pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
them but
explaining
Change preposition
by explaining
show examples
the consequences of the bad behaviours. First of all,
children
's every good or bad
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
comes from home. If the family gives love and care to the
children
and there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
fights among adults, there would be
low
Add an article
a low
the low
show examples
chance for the kids to gain bad
manners
.
In contrast
, if the child has to see
problems
in the family
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, they will surely find a place where they can be
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
, like going to a game station or staying outside of the house.
This
can lead to unexpected and unwanted results like angry
children
. Other causes might be their friend circle
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
parents couldn't give attention to
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because of their own
problems
.
For instance
,
children
of divorced parents are said to have more emotional
problems
than anyone else and it can be seen in their behaviours.
Moreover
,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
results are mainly seen in schools where they have to spend most of their time. The responsibility to change these
manners
of the
students
comes to their teachers. And they should handle
this
problem wisely because these
students
are already facing
problems
and trying to change them
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
a strict way is not a good idea. It would be helpful if they
try
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
to solve the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
unresolved questions and
by explaining
Wrong verb form
explain
show examples
the consequences of the bad behaviours which will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. Of course,
this
problem cannot be solved by the teachers only, parental involvement is
also
necessary. To illustrate, there
seems
Verb problem
does
show examples
not much
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
in
children
who are kept under the discipline of laws in child's rehabilitation centres.
To conclude
,
manners
Correct article usage
the manners
show examples
of the
children
are mainly a result of the family and the schools are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who have to face the consequences.
While
the important cause seems to be from the family, handling them with care is crucial before any unwanted falses
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
.
Submitted by nmpppp4444 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clearly identifiable introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines your views, contributing to a logical structure. However, expanding on your supporting examples with more detailed evidence could further strengthen your argument and make your ideas even clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay showcases a generally clear progression of ideas and adequate use of paragraphing. To enhance the coherence and cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and using more linking words to connect ideas more smoothly. This helps in creating a more coherent flow and reinforcing the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You've effectively identified a relevant cause and provided a thoughtful solution to the problem of student behavior, demonstrating a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a cohesive structure with a clear distinction between paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct idea, which aids in the reader's comprehension.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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