Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
#sugar #health #people #government’s #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individual’s #amount
Obesity is the main reason for various health problems
such
as heart disease and bloating/ Indigestion which are
mainly start from having extreme Unnecessary verb
apply
sugar
. The
few Correct article usage
A
pople
think that the governance take action on Correct your spelling
people
sugar
consumption and other
believe that humankind should have control Fix the agreement mistake
others
on
it because Change preposition
of
this
is their responsibility. I will discuss both sides with my own views in the upcoming paragraphs.
To start with, the administration can make some rules for compaines
which are making Correct your spelling
companies
sugar
and product
of Fix the agreement mistake
products
sugar
because humanbeings
do not have Correct your spelling
human beings
knowlegde
about it. Correct your spelling
knowledge
Also
, if the governance remain
Change the verb form
remains
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
on
Change preposition
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
then
it will automatic
under control. Replace the word
automatically be
Besides
, they can ban those things which are acquire
Change the verb form
acquire
Add an article
the high
a high
high level
amount of it. To IllustrateAdd a hyphen
high-level
it
,Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
survey was done by Correct article usage
a
a students
of the university in 2013 that there were numerous factories in Correct the article-noun agreement
students
a student
punjab
which used Change the capitalization
Punjab
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
sugar
in their product
and those items Fix the agreement mistake
products
were consume
by children so they had to face multiple health Change the verb form
were consumed
issue
. After Change to a plural noun
issues
it
, the government Correct pronoun usage
that
was ban
those Wrong verb form
banned
compaines
. Correct your spelling
companies
Thus
, the council plays a
important role Change the article
an
to mitigate
Change preposition
in mitigating
this
issue.
However
, this
matter is not common for people because due to
it they have to engage with several aliments
. They should be aware towards Correct your spelling
ailments
sugar
comsumption
since in Correct your spelling
consumption
this
modern-time
, there are different Correct your spelling
modern time
kind
of videos on Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
the
Correct article usage
apply
youtube
related to health Correct your spelling
YouTube
illness
so they can gain depth of information on it. Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
Morever
, they can make Correct your spelling
Moreover
diet
Correct article usage
a diet
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
how
they will take calories in their daily lives so that it is Change preposition
for how
depent
on humans Correct your spelling
dependent
depend
that
they can control Correct word choice
apply
on
their diet.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
this
is not duty
of the governance but Add an article
the duty
also
humanbeings
. In my opinion, both can alleviate Correct your spelling
human beings
to
it Change preposition
apply
beause
helping Correct your spelling
because
to
each other Change preposition
apply
that
is the main idea to Correct pronoun usage
apply
resolve
any problem Wrong verb form
resolving
because
if the authority makes a rule Correct word choice
apply
then
it will responsibility of mortals as well and they should be obey to
it.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by harmanpreetkang20 on
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Structure
Clarify your ideas further by breaking them down into more digestible parts. Consider using paragraphs to separate different points.
Accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. Small errors can distract from your message. Use a spellcheck tool or ask someone to proofread your work.
Content
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Flow
Work on your coherence by linking your ideas more smoothly. Try using connecting words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
Balance
Consider exploring both views more deeply before presenting your own opinion. This approach will make your argument more balanced and thorough.
Understanding
You've demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and engaged critically with both views.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and states your opinion, providing a satisfying closure to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.