IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

nowdays, more and more people don't wear their national clothes, and the clothes look almost the same all over the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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There is an increasing
trend
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 that
people
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 are more inclined to wear uniformly worldwide.
While
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 I acknowledge that
this
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trend
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 involves several positive
effect
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effects
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, I still consider that its negative influence outweighs its benefits. The
trend
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 of similar dressing
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style
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styles
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 can be attributed to
increasingly
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increasing
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 exposure to foreign
culture
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cultures
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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intensified global communication. Domestic consumers are becoming more
acquinted
Correct your spelling
acquainted
 with global
fashion
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 from efficient information
channel
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channels
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due to
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 the expansion of international trade.
Moreover
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,
this
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 phenomenon
also
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 manifests the
overwelming
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overwhelming
trend
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 of
healthy
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a healthy
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life
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lifestyle
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style
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.
Increasing
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An increasing
The increasing
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 number of
people
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 wearing sports suits like
lululemon
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Lululemon
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 or
arctryex
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Arctryex
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represent
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represents
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 the transition of
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people
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people's
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 mindset to
healthier
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a healthier
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lifestyle
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lifestyles
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 compared
decades
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to decades
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 ago.
However
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, there are more severe negative aspects
for
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to
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this
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trend
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 might be highly influenced by seasonal
fashion
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wordwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
 rather than promoting
domestical
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domestic
 classical or traditional
fashion
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.
For example
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, Chinese traditional clothes offer
the
Correct article usage
a
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 window to the past to help new generations deeply understand the traditions, customs and
tradition
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traditions
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 of
life
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lifestyle
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style
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in
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of
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feudal
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the feudal
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 dynasty. The erosion of foreign
fashion
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Use synonyms
style
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styles
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 could be detrimental to
extension
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the extension
an extension
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 of cultural heritage.
Seondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the appreciation of aesthetic value should not be
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 by one particular type. Clothes
style
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, as an important
media
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medium
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 showcasing personalities, should be diversified,
thus
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 enriching the world community. In conclusion,
while
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uniformed
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uniform
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 dressing taste alludes to positive current
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trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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 and
development
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developments
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, I highly agree that its negative influences outweigh its advantages.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument with a balanced view, but focusing on exploring more varied examples could enhance the argument's depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.
General
Watch for minor spelling and grammatical errors that, while not significantly impacting readability, can be polished for a more professional presentation.
Logical Structure
You have done well in maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay, ensuring that your ideas are organized and easy to follow.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, framing your arguments clearly and reinforcing your viewpoint.
Examples
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples which support the main points, enhancing the argument's credibility.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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