IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food,clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make dicisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
parents
Use synonyms
’ perspective
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 accepting
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own
decisions
Use synonyms
 on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is essential for
children
Use synonyms
 to make their own
choices
Use synonyms
 about matters that affect them.I will discuss some of the reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,In the
last
Linking Words
 few years,teenagers consider that they make their own
choices
Use synonyms
 and do not
not
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
like asking their
parents
Use synonyms
' perspective because they think that do not need someone’s opinion,they are becoming independent.To give just one example,social media is developing day by day almost all
children
Use synonyms
 have their own social media accounts they follow famous people and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
imitate famous people
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why
children
Use synonyms
think
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do not need their
parents
Use synonyms
’ opinions. Turning to the other side,
parents
Use synonyms
 should control their
children
Use synonyms
’s
decisions
Use synonyms
. If
parents
Use synonyms
 do not focus on their kids,they tend to make wrong
choices
Use synonyms
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should talk and understand their
children
Use synonyms
’s opinions.If
parents
Use synonyms
 scold their
children
Use synonyms
 when they do wrong things.They do not talk too much.
That is
Linking Words
 why
parents
Use synonyms
 should understand their
children
Use synonyms
,respect their
decisions
Use synonyms
 and allowing make their own
choices
Use synonyms
 on everyday matters. All things considered,teenagers should make
decisions
Use synonyms
 and it is a normal thing.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes they should listen to their
parents
Use synonyms
’ advice. If they hear their
parents
Use synonyms
’ advice,it might be really helpful when kids make
choices
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Try to clearly introduce the topic and your thesis in the introduction, mentioning both views and your own stance to create a clearer roadmap for your essay.
Paragraph Development
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, followed by explanations, examples, or evidence to support your point. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.
Linking Phrases
Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas and to help guide the reader through your arguments. This can include connectors for adding information, contrasting ideas, or showing cause and effect.
Essay Structure
Ensure your essay flows well by organizing it into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs (each presenting a separate argument or viewpoint), and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion.
Task Engagement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion, showing engagement with the topic.
Use of Examples
You make an effort to provide examples, such as the influence of social media, which helps to support your arguments. Further development and specific details could make these examples more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: