IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. It is observed that, currently, more and more people are working longer hours. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What effects does this have on society?

#minutes #topic #people #hours #phenomenon #effects #society
In later years, there is a trend that employees have been working for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 of hours during their
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
show examples
.
This
 can have many advantages and disadvantages depending on the situation each person might be facing, I believe that
this
 can have a good impact on today's working society and can
help
Verb problem
have
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 the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 effect on any
workers
Change noun form
worker's
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lives
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Firstly
, Throughout the years and with the pandemic many people have decided to stop working because the government started helping them financially,
this
 has had a big effect because now that the pandemic is over there are many jobs to
feel
Verb problem
fill
show examples
 and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of money in a lot of families.
Furthermore
, here is where the effects of long hours might be seen, the people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 need money are taking double shifts and staying longer
due to
 the lack of employees in any company and the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 for them to have a steady life.
Secondly
,
this
 phenomenon can have a great impact on
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 environment and the mentality that there is in companies.
For example
, if a party can create a place where everyone is a hard worker and is willing to stay extra horse for pay or
work
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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 is a party
that is
 going to succeed in the future, just because they have the trust and mentality to finish the
work
 that they started and to make it good.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there might be an imbalance in
work
 and personal life,
this
 can help create a safe space for satisfaction in the workspace. In summary,
while
 longer
work
 hours may offer
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
 solutions to the job shortages and financial needs, they
also
 create a concern about employee well-being and the
work
-life balance. Creating a balance between productivity and people's health is important for the creation of a sustainable and successful
work
 environment in the long term.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Structure
Ensure your introduction accurately outlines the topics you will be discussing, helping to prepare the reader for your argument's structure.
Content
In the body paragraphs, try to present clear topic sentences to introduce each main idea, followed by explanations or examples to support it.
Analysis
While discussing both causes and effects, aim for a balanced analysis that interconnects these elements throughout your essay, rather than treating them separately.
Grammar
Remember to proofread your essay to catch and correct small inaccuracies or grammatical errors, enhancing the overall clarity and impact of your writing.
Engagement
You've adeptly engaged with the topic, presenting a relevant discussion on the causes and consequences of longer work hours.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reflecting on the broader implications of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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