University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Going with
one
subject
or multiple as a student is always debatable. The importance of specialized knowledge in today's fast-paced, technologically advanced world, where depth in a
subject
can lead to innovation and expertise. I agree with focusing on multiple
subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
show examples
instead
of
one
as
one
can be more competitive.
To begin
with,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
abouth
Correct your spelling
about
more than
one
subject
can enhance
one
's critical thinking, creativity and adaptability.
All rounded
Correct determiner usage
Rounded
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
have more opportunities and multiple
path
Change to a plural noun
paths
show examples
of
groth
Correct your spelling
growth
when they get into
corporate
Add an article
the corporate
show examples
world and
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
. Nowadays, universities and schools are focusing on preparing students for the workforce and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
them with a competitive edge in a dynamic job market.
However
, there is always an argument considering
students 's
Remove the s
students'
show examples
mental health as
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of people
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
student's
Correct article usage
a student's
show examples
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
to make the
adaptrive
Correct your spelling
adaptive
adoptive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
multiple areas in studies.
Learnig
Correct your spelling
Learning
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of things at
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
point can lead to stress and depression but
i
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I
show examples
believe
diverse
Correct article usage
a diverse
show examples
curriculum can enhance students'
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
and self-awareness. In conclusion, the practicality of blending specialized and general education,
suggesting
Wrong verb form
suggests
show examples
a model where
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can major in a primary
subject
while
taking elective courses in other fields.
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Argumentation
Your essay presents a well argued case for the benefits of studying more than one subject at university. Further refinement could be gained by deeper exploration of counterarguments to strengthen your argumentation.
Structure
Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. This improves the logical flow and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Evidence
Incorporating specific examples or evidence to support your points could provide a stronger base for your arguments, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.
Accuracy
Mind the spelling and grammar to maintain a high level of professionalism and clarity in your writing. Minor errors can distract from your overall argument.
Balance
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both the benefits and potential drawbacks of focusing on multiple subjects.
Relevance
You effectively highlighted the importance of adaptability and diverse skills in the modern job market, which supports your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized knowledge
  • technologically advanced
  • innovation
  • expertise
  • well-rounded education
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
  • competitive edge
  • dynamic job market
  • singular focus
  • mental health
  • personal development
  • diverse curriculum
  • self-awareness
  • elective courses
  • primary subject
  • blending
What to do next:
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