You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: •introduce yourself, •say why you are interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs

Dear Sir/Madam I
write
Wrong verb form
am writing
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this
letter as I saw your announcement in
local
Add an article
the local
a local
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newspaper that you are looking
for
Change preposition
apply
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to
hiring
Wrong verb form
hire
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new
Correct article usage
a new
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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for
goalkeeper
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a goalkeeper
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. Let me introduce myself
first,
my name
Yohanes
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is Yohanes
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and I am
the
Correct article usage
a
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first semester
Add a hyphen
first-semester
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student
in
Change preposition
at
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local
Add an article
a local
the local
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university. I am wondering if your football
club
is amazing for me
according to
my experience because I have 5 years experience as
goalkeeper
Correct article usage
a goalkeeper
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when I study in high school. Unfortunately, my university
has
Verb problem
does
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not football
extracuricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
hence
I looking for
football
Correct article usage
a football
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club
surround
Wrong verb form
surrounding
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this
city.
In addition
to
this
, my
rent
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rented
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house is not far away from the stadium. So I can practice
everyday
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every day
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after my class in college. I do not need to commute earlier as I can use my motorcycle.
Nevertheless
, I am glad that I will get
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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to join your
club
. I would be thankful if you consider me as the best candidate for your team goalkeeper.
Also
, Would you like
inform
Fix the infinitive
to inform
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me by email about the practice schedule and the cost if I
selected
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am selected
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?
Thus
, I can prepare
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
before
join
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joining
show examples
your
club
. Sincerely Yohanes
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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Clarity and Directness
Be explicit in the introduction about the primary intent of your letter. Mention directly that you are interested in joining the sports club as a goalkeeper.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure the body paragraphs are well-focused. Each paragraph should clearly tackle a specific aspect of your application or inquiry.
Task Response
Include more detailed inquiries or requests for information regarding the sports club, such as facilities, membership types, or other relevant details to align better with the letter's tasks.
Organization
Your letter is well-organized, and paragraphs are logically structured, which aids the reader's understanding.
Closing
The closing of your letter is polite and clear, effectively summarizing your request and showing eagerness to join the club.
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