You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: •introduce yourself, •say why you are interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs
#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #•introduce #•say #•ask #questions #e #g #members #costs
Dear Sir/Madam
I
write
Wrong verb form
am writing
this
letter as I saw your announcement in local
newspaper that you are looking Add an article
the local
a local
for
to Change preposition
apply
hiring
Wrong verb form
hire
new
Correct article usage
a new
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
especially
for Add the comma(s)
, especially
goalkeeper
.
Let me introduce myself Add an article
a goalkeeper
first,
my name Yohanes
and I am Add a missing verb
is Yohanes
the
Correct article usage
a
first semester
student Add a hyphen
first-semester
in
Change preposition
at
local
university. I am wondering if your football Add an article
a local
the local
club
is amazing for me according to
my experience because I have 5 years experience as goalkeeper
when I study in high school. Unfortunately, my university Correct article usage
a goalkeeper
has
not football Verb problem
does
extracuricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
hence
I looking for football
Correct article usage
a football
club
surround
Wrong verb form
surrounding
this
city.
In addition
to this
, my rent
house is not far away from the stadium. So I can practice Replace the word
rented
everyday
after my class in college. I do not need to commute earlier as I can use my motorcycle.
Replace the word
every day
Nevertheless
, I am glad that I will get opportunity
to join your Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
club
. I would be thankful if you consider me as the best candidate for your team goalkeeper. Also
, Would you like inform
me by email about the practice schedule and the cost if I Fix the infinitive
to inform
selected
? Add a missing verb
am selected
Thus
, I can prepare everthing
before Correct your spelling
everything
join
your Change the verb form
joining
club
.
Sincerely
YohanesSubmitted by patricius.yohanes on
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Clarity and Directness
Be explicit in the introduction about the primary intent of your letter. Mention directly that you are interested in joining the sports club as a goalkeeper.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure the body paragraphs are well-focused. Each paragraph should clearly tackle a specific aspect of your application or inquiry.
Task Response
Include more detailed inquiries or requests for information regarding the sports club, such as facilities, membership types, or other relevant details to align better with the letter's tasks.
Organization
Your letter is well-organized, and paragraphs are logically structured, which aids the reader's understanding.
Closing
The closing of your letter is polite and clear, effectively summarizing your request and showing eagerness to join the club.