You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: •introduce yourself, •say why you are interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #•introduce #•say #•ask #questions #e #g #members #costs

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dear Sir/Madam I

write

Wrong verb form

am writing

show examples

this

Linking Words

letter as I saw your announcement in

local

Add an article

the local

a local

show examples

newspaper that you are looking

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hiring

Wrong verb form

hire

show examples

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for

goalkeeper

Add an article

a goalkeeper

show examples

. Let me introduce myself

first,

Linking Words

my name

Yohanes

Add a missing verb

is Yohanes

show examples

and I am

the

Correct article usage

show examples

first semester

Add a hyphen

first-semester

show examples

student

Change preposition

show examples

local

Add an article

a local

the local

show examples

university. I am wondering if your football

club

Use synonyms

is amazing for me

according to

Linking Words

my experience because I have 5 years experience as

goalkeeper

Correct article usage

a goalkeeper

show examples

when I study in high school. Unfortunately, my university

has

Verb problem

does

show examples

not football

extracuricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

hence

Linking Words

I looking for

football

Correct article usage

a football

show examples

club

Use synonyms

surround

Wrong verb form

surrounding

show examples

this

Linking Words

city.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, my

rent

Replace the word

rented

show examples

house is not far away from the stadium. So I can practice

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

after my class in college. I do not need to commute earlier as I can use my motorcycle.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I am glad that I will get

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

to join your

club

Use synonyms

. I would be thankful if you consider me as the best candidate for your team goalkeeper.

Also

Linking Words

, Would you like

inform

Fix the infinitive

to inform

show examples

me by email about the practice schedule and the cost if I

selected

Add a missing verb

am selected

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, I can prepare

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

before

join

Change the verb form

joining

show examples

your

club

Use synonyms

. Sincerely Yohanes

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Fri May 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Clarity and Directness

Be explicit in the introduction about the primary intent of your letter. Mention directly that you are interested in joining the sports club as a goalkeeper.

Paragraph Structure

Ensure the body paragraphs are well-focused. Each paragraph should clearly tackle a specific aspect of your application or inquiry.

Task Response

Include more detailed inquiries or requests for information regarding the sports club, such as facilities, membership types, or other relevant details to align better with the letter's tasks.

Organization

Your letter is well-organized, and paragraphs are logically structured, which aids the reader's understanding.

Closing

The closing of your letter is polite and clear, effectively summarizing your request and showing eagerness to join the club.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

184 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?
There are several contractions regarding when it comes to the subject of whether the advantages of the Internet are more than its problems or not. In my opinion, I agree that most of the problems caused by technology can be dealt with.
4
band
The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
In the recent days the usage of private vehicles has risen by a great number compared to the use in previous years but then this has led to many troubles. One of the major problem that this has caused is traffic congetion on the highways and the solution to this issue is constructing more roads rather than discouraging car owners from using them. In this essay, I am going to elaborate more on the issues identified and the solutions to them.
5
band
in recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe these developments are necessary, while others regard them as dangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion
In the past few years, the intrusion of technological devices and sophisticated methods have been increased in the farming process in order to improve crops. Some people argue that such developments are crucial, whereas others think they cause detrimental effects on human beings in a return. Although, innovative methods bring some negative impacts, I believe, technological improvements give more benefits to the farming process.
6
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages.
It is of importance for people to make risky moves in their career lives and even private lives. Although it can be very costly, I believe nothing can surpass the fact that risks can help people grow.
6.5
band
In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In many offices, online communication has become more common than face-to-face meetings. While some may view this as a disadvantageous trend, I believe that the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks for two main reasons.

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages.

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.