IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Methods of transportation for people traveling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK.

#methods #transportation #people #university #work #study #uk
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The pie charts illustrate how
people
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
university
 in the UK
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
school
 in 2004 and 2009.
Overall
, there was a considerable decline in the proportion of
people
 going to an examined
university
 by car,
while
 an increase was seen in the figures for the other means of transport.
In addition
, most students chose to commute to their
university
 by car in 2004, and by bus in 2009;
by contrast
, the figures for those opting to take the train or walk to
school
 were marginal/ negligible in both years. The percentage of
people
 driving to the
university
 started at 51% in 2004, after which it almost halved in the next five years. The reverse trend was seen in the proportion of bus riders, which increased from 33% in 2004 to 46% in 2009. 9% of
people
 travelled to the
university
 by bicycle in 2004 (= 9% of
people
 in the survey said that they often cycled to
school
 in 2004), followed by a rise to 16% five years later (after a
half decade
Add a hyphen
half-decade
show examples
). Similar changes, but to lesser extents, were seen in the figures for
people
 catching the train or walking to
school
, which increased marginally, reaching 4% and 6%, respectively.
Submitted by mynameisdanh06 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and an overview of the main trends or differences. Your concluding statements could be strengthened by summarizing the most significant changes or overall trends.
Lexical Resource
Try to vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the readability and engagement of the essay. Incorporating a wider range of expressions can make your points more dynamic and appealing.
Detailed Analysis
When discussing data, make sure to include comparisons and contrasts where relevant, to highlight the changes or stability within the data sets more effectively.
Overview
You provided a clear overview of the main trends at the beginning, effectively setting the stage for your detailed analysis.
Data Support
You successfully used data to support your points, which helps in creating a persuasive and informative response.
Logical Flow
The logical structure of your essay facilitates a coherent flow of ideas, making your analysis easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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