The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The diagram illustrates the

process

Use synonyms

of how

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

be converted into

sugar

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Overall

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

process

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took people seven steps to complete and requires various kinds of machines, tools, and skills.

To begin

Linking Words

with, after 12-18 months of growing,

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

mature enough and can

therefore

Linking Words

be harvested, the harvesting step can be done by either machines or farmers.

Next,

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

will be sent into a crushing machine and turned into juice. After becoming a form of liquid, the juice will experience a few distinct

process

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steps.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it'll be purified in a limestone filter to make sure that several undesired components are removed.

Secondly

Linking Words

, an evaporator can heat the juice and let it become the syrup.

Finally

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals in the syrup will be separated in a centrifuge. Once these

sugar

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crystals are fully drying and cooling, the whole

process

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is finished successfully and we get the

sugar

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that people normally see in the markets.

Submitted by arthur752102 on Fri May 03 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Which of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and a bicycle?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organised by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you thimk this is a positive or negative situation?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Providing Internet access is just as important as other services, such as building roads, so governments should offer Internet access to all of their citizens at no cost. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.