The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey

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The charts illustrate the participation

percantage

Correct your spelling

percentage

for both

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

various

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of activities, related to

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

and leisure.

Overall

Linking Words

, the two groups show a diverse interest in the games,

while

Linking Words

boys

Use synonyms

are more interested in outdoor

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, but

girls

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prefer more indoor

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

. Both groups did spend

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing computer games, reading, and listening to music. They have the same rate of 10% on enjoying music.

In addition

Linking Words

comparitively

Correct your spelling

comparatively

boys

Use synonyms

spend

time

Use synonyms

on computer games, which are 18% more than that of

girls

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

significanly

Correct your spelling

significantly

girls

Use synonyms

prefer reading (21%), which is 19% higher

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

that of the

boys

Use synonyms

. Dancing and basketball

respectivly

Correct your spelling

respectively

are the most popular activities for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

, where the participation rate

reach

Correct subject-verb agreement

reaches

show examples

over 25%.

Boys

Use synonyms

show a higher

interenst

Correct your spelling

interest

in playing outdoor

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

, where more than 10% of them did choose to play

stakeboard

Correct your spelling

skateboard

and football.

Instead

Linking Words

, more

girls

Use synonyms

spend

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing indoor sports like gymnastics and netball, in which 11% and 15% of them will spend

time

Use synonyms

on it

repsectivly

Correct your spelling

respectively

, showing they are more popular among

girls

Use synonyms

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri May 03 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

180 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
survey
comparison
popularity
activities
gender-specific
predominantly
societal factors
psychological factors
development
teamwork
physical health
cognitive skills
educational policies

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The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

some people say that governments should spend money on building theatres and sport station. Instead, they should spend money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most essential component of a person’s life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travels to large shopping centre and mall to do shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking Website. Do you agree or disagree?