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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The broken line
grapth
Correct your spelling
graph
 illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of tourists that a
specfic
Correct your spelling
specific
 Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 had from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an upward trend
Change preposition
in
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of visitors they had,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the figure
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
is shown
show examples
 who chose to stay on both
Correct article usage
the cruise
show examples
cruise
Correct article usage
the cruise
show examples
ship
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
also
Linking Words
 had a climb. The total number of tourists had a significant growth,
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010 to 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2017. Those who chose to stay on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 had doubled from 0.75
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010 to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017,
while
Linking Words
 those
stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
ship
Add an article
the ship
show examples
 even
jumpped
Correct your spelling
jumped
 from 0.25
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010 to eight times higher in 2017. Throughout the eight years, the
island
Use synonyms
 used to have more visitors stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
,
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2016,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 had a sudden drop of 0.25
million
Use synonyms
.
Indead
Correct your spelling
Indeed
Instead
, there was a jump in number from 0.75
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011 to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013, and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable till a sudden
declined
Change the form of the verb
decline
show examples
 in 2016 and
resummed
Correct your spelling
resumed
show examples
 in 2017. From 2016 onwards, more visitors chose to stay on
Use synonyms
ship
Correct article usage
the ship
show examples
 compared with
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2010 to 2012, the trend of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 on cruise
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
fucturated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
, but
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid growth
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
followed and reached 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2017.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, ship, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 8 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
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