some people say that advertising is extremely successful at presuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so commen that we no longer pay attetion to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #commen #attetion

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Whether or not advertising has lost its lure

due to

its ubiquity is a debatable matter.

While

some still adhere to the belief that it is the main source of

presuasion

Correct your spelling

persuasion

when buying items, others and I believe that it no longer possesses its primal charm. Some individuals state that advertisement is one of the initial mediums for enticing people into shops.

Additionally

, it is widely considered to be the most popular

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

show examples

of declaring seasonal sales

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and giving out special offers.

Furthermore

, one other asset of the

contemprory

Correct your spelling

contemporary

commercials

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the performing cast they hire which usually consists of celebrities and social figures who have a huge impact on the audience;

therefore

, luring them into buying the products that they might not necessarily need. Take Calvin Klein as an example;

this

fashion brand managed to gain a tremendous

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

show examples

in customers by only adding Haily Bieber

into

Change preposition

show examples

its line of brand ambassadors.

On the other hand

as a result

of technology

prevalances

Correct your spelling

prevalence

prevalences

, people are getting exhausted by the full-time bombard of offers; both online and in reality.

Consequantly

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, they would not pay attention to the pop-up windows or the brochures they

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

in the street even if they could really benefit from the presented goods.

This

overload of information

deminished

Correct your spelling

diminished

customers' power to choose among too many variable options. A recent study demonstrates that, nowadays, the number of people who purchase through ads

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not even

one third

Add a hyphen

one-third

show examples

of the total viewers. In a nutshell,

although

advertising is considered to be of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

high importance when manipulating the public to desire an item, many others insist that it is an

out-dated

Correct your spelling

outdated

show examples

method

due to

its

commenness

Correct your spelling

commonness

. I stand with the second group because of the reasons that were elaborated in

this

essay.

Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on Fri May 03 2024

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Detailed Examples

Ensure all paragraphs are fully developed with clear, specific supporting examples. While the Calvin Klein example is good, adding more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.

Spelling/Grammar

Watch out for spelling and grammatical errors ('presuasion' should be 'persuasion', 'contemprory' should be 'contemporary', 'commeonness' should be 'commonness', 'recieve' should be 'receive'). These small mistakes can distract from your argument.

Sentence Structure

Try to vary your sentence structures to add complexity and sophistication to your writing. This can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Task Response

You've done well in discussing both viewpoints comprehensively and giving your own opinion, which is aligned with the task requirements.

Logical Structure & Cohesion

The logical flow of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion shows good coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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some people say that advertising is extremely successful at presuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so commen that we no longer pay attetion to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualification are mor important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. why is this? what extent do u agree or disagree?

Some people believe that modern technology, such as the internet and smartphones, creates more problems than it solves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

scientists and news media are pesenting ever more evidence of climate. Government can not expect to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. give your opinion

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?