Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Globalization and the number of multinational
companies
have been becoming increasingly common in recent years. Some people believe that this
can bring some drawbacks to society, while
others say it can have some positive effects on the environment. From my perspective, I personally agree that this
growth might have numerous disadvantages in the world.
There are two essential disadvantages to this
idea. First of all, companies
which are multinational can dominate the selling around their stores. Therefore
, it can reduce locals's profit who possess a small shopping store
. For instance
, a local store
owner can have plenty of income from their customers around their store
, but when a multinational company
open a store
near them, most of
local customers Change preposition
apply
can
prefer other Verb problem
apply
company
because of Fix the agreement mistake
companies
its
well-known name. Correct pronoun usage
their
As a result
, having more global companies
can affect locals's profits.
Secondly
, in the upcoming years establishing a new company
might be tougher than now because of the increasing number of huge companies
. People may think that their new company
will not be able to compete with multinational companies
, so nobody might want to take risks with their money. For example
, there is a Nike store
in a shopping centre, and the store
next to it is empty. Nobody would investin
Correct your spelling
invest in
astore
that produces sports clothes in Correct your spelling
a store
store
this
empty store
because they might know that most consumers choose Nike because of its quality or well-known. Therefore
, an increasing the
number of multinational Correct article usage
apply
companies
can influence negatively on
the variety of brands that produce the same product.
In conclusion, we might see more well-known Change preposition
apply
companies
in the upcoming years around our hometown. It can have some cons on our environment such
as reducing locals's profit and variety of brands.Submitted by hsmkashi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While your stance is perceptible, a more direct thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Relevance to Topic
For a stronger argument, ensure your examples directly support the impact on the environment, as the prompt requests. Your current examples mostly focus on economic and competitive effects.
Coherence
Enhance coherence by linking your ideas more directly to the environmental impact of globalization and multinational companies since that is the focus of the prompt.
Cohesion
To improve cohesion, consider varied and more specific connecting phrases to smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion wraps up your essay, but consider restating your main arguments more clearly and directly relate them back to the environmental impact to strengthen the effectiveness of your conclusion.
Examples
You have provided clear examples to support your points, showing a good attempt to make your argument tangible.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding in overall readability.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.