Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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Globalization and the number of multinational
companies
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have been becoming increasingly common in recent years. Some people believe that
this
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can bring some drawbacks to society,
while
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others say it can have some positive effects on the environment. From my perspective, I personally agree that
this
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growth might have numerous disadvantages in the world. There are two essential disadvantages to
this
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idea. First of all,
companies
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which are multinational can dominate the selling around their stores.
Therefore
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, it can reduce locals's profit who possess a small shopping
store
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.
For instance
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, a local
store
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owner can have plenty of income from their customers around their
store
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, but when a multinational
company
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open a
store
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near them, most
of
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apply
show examples
local customers
can
Verb problem
apply
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prefer other
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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well-known name.
As a result
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, having more global
companies
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can affect locals's profits.
Secondly
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, in the upcoming years establishing a new
company
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might be tougher than now because of the increasing number of huge
companies
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. People may think that their new
company
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will not be able to compete with multinational
companies
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, so nobody might want to take risks with their money.
For example
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, there is a Nike
store
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in a shopping centre, and the
store
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next to it is empty. Nobody would
investin
Correct your spelling
invest in
astore
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a store
store
that produces sports clothes in
this
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empty
store
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because they might know that most consumers choose Nike because of its quality or well-known.
Therefore
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, an increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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number of multinational
companies
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can influence negatively
on
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apply
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the variety of brands that produce the same product. In conclusion, we might see more well-known
companies
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in the upcoming years around our hometown. It can have some cons on our environment
such
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as reducing locals's profit and variety of brands.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While your stance is perceptible, a more direct thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Relevance to Topic
For a stronger argument, ensure your examples directly support the impact on the environment, as the prompt requests. Your current examples mostly focus on economic and competitive effects.
Coherence
Enhance coherence by linking your ideas more directly to the environmental impact of globalization and multinational companies since that is the focus of the prompt.
Cohesion
To improve cohesion, consider varied and more specific connecting phrases to smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion wraps up your essay, but consider restating your main arguments more clearly and directly relate them back to the environmental impact to strengthen the effectiveness of your conclusion.
Examples
You have provided clear examples to support your points, showing a good attempt to make your argument tangible.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding in overall readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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