IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and test the safety of other products. Many people argue that these should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them as they bring many benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Thesedays
Correct your spelling
These days
, inventing new medicines
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 considered to be one of the essential requirements
due to
Linking Words
 the growing number of diseases. The majority of people say that it is not important to show humanity
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 in order to do experiments,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it is crucial to give equal importance
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 humans. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. Perhaps some people argue that performing investigations on
animals
Use synonyms
 is essential because
this
Linking Words
 can help mankind
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
invent new medicines. There is an
abundant
Replace the word
abundance
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exist in our environment, which allows us to pick these species to undergo some types of analysis.
Hence
Linking Words
, the developed medicines can be trialled on them, as these faunas that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
similar behaviour to humans.
For instance
Linking Words
, scientists have used a chimpanzee as a test subject to find their medical formulas are responding to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 similar cell structures as a man.
Conversely
Linking Words
, others argue that they should not be harmed by these types of analyses
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because they are living species. All living organisms in
this
Linking Words
 surrounding
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 making our ecosystem healthy and they have equal rights to survive on
this
Linking Words
 planet. If they feel
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pain and emotional suffering , they will undergo
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should be treated with humanity.
For example
Linking Words
, many birds, snakes and monkeys
kept
Add a missing verb
are kept
show examples
 in captivity for research and those caged
animals
Use synonyms
 are mostly
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 from their parents or moved from their habitats is immoral. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some think that using flora and fauna for medical research can be effective for people to bring up new pills, I believe that involving these creatures in inventions is unethical as they have feelings similar to humans.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure to provide clear and more specific examples to support your points. While the chimpanzee example is relevant, additional or more detailed evaluations could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
Task Achievement
While you addressed both views and your own opinion, making your thesis statement more explicit in the introduction could improve clarity.
General
Pay attention to small grammatical and spelling errors to maintain high language accuracy.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on the implications or consequences of each viewpoint to provide a more in-depth discussion.
Task Achievement
You have demonstrated a good grasp of the discussion format, presenting both sides of the argument before giving your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have successfully used a range of vocabulary pertinent to the topic, which enriches your essay and engages the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ethics
  • Morality
  • Vivisection
  • In vivo testing
  • Cruelty-free
  • Animal welfare
  • Biomedical research
  • Toxicology
  • Sentience
  • Compassionate
  • Humane
  • Speciesism
  • In vitro
  • Alternative methods
  • Pharmacology
  • Clinical trials
  • Bioethics
  • Animal rights
  • Pain threshold
  • Efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: