In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that both aged and youth are
essintial
Correct your spelling
essential
for any country.
While
it is held belief that in some regions old
people
are more important, there is
also
an argument that young
people
are more valued.
this
essay will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
and I will express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, aged
people
have an
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
crucial thing which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, they have gone through
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
obstecles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
and tests during their lives.
In addition
, in every
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
there is a consultent
which his
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
job
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
the president
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
major topics.
For example
, the president of Saudi Arabia has a consultant with 59 years old, and he is
handleing
Correct your spelling
handling
many sensitive topics
such
as the war with
Yeman
Correct your spelling
Yemen
.
On the other hand
, young citizens are the backbone of any country. It is
also
possible to say that without
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
people
, it can not evolve in any sector. Where the
crativity
Correct your spelling
creativity
and imagination come from
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and they
full
Add a missing verb
are full
show examples
of energy.
Furthermore
, some
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
can not be done unless there are young
people
.
For instance
,
Correct article usage
the manifacture
show examples
manifacture
Correct your spelling
manufacture
sector is one of the main sectors that
requier
Correct your spelling
require
young
people
to do it. In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no easy answers to
this
topic. On balance, I tend to believe that both old and young citizens have
their
Change the word
an
show examples
important role in life. Without
ethier
Correct your spelling
either
of
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
the scale of life will be destroyed.
While
we can learn from old
people
, we can get help from young
people
.
Submitted by Aljawir3 on

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Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity. For example, 'essintial' should be 'essential', 'experince' should be 'experience', and 'obstecles' should be 'obstacles'. Correcting these will make your writing more polished.
Sentence Structure
Consider using a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. This includes complex sentences and variations in sentence beginnings.
Linking Words
To further strengthen your coherence and cohesion, you can use more linking words and phrases that explicitly show the relationship between ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Response
You've given a balanced view of both perspectives before stating your own position, which is a good approach for this type of essay.
Essay Structure
The essay structure is clear with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your opinion effectively.
Use of Examples
You've used examples to support your points, such as the consultant to the president of Saudi Arabia, which helps ground your arguments in reality.

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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