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Band 4

in this period of globalization many people are lucky or forced to live in other country and face serious social and practical problems because of the foreign language

#period #globalization #people #country #face #language
in
this
 period of
globalization
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globalization,
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 many people are lucky or forced to live in other
country
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countries
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and face serious social and practical
problems
 because of the foreign
language
, some of the
problems
 are socializing with others or simply taking a trip in a taxi or asking for directions , in my
opinion
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opinion,
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i
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I
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 strongly agree with
this
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. supporting my argument to the given statement,
i
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I
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 firmly believe that foreign
language
 can be
serious
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a serious
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 problem for tourists in Japan
were
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where
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 the
Majorite
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Majority
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 of the population speaks only Japanese,
for example
 without knowing the
language
 many will face
problems
 using the metro or communicating with
taxi
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a taxi
the taxi
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 driver,
moreover
 asking for directions will probable get you
no where
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nowhere
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. explaining some of the other supporting points in
favor
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favour
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in
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of
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this
 statement,
its
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it's
it is
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 true that many arab
emigrants
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immigrants
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 in Canada face a lot of social isolation and
finds
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find
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 it really difficult to blend
in
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into
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local
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the local
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 community
as a result
 many
feels
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feel
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hobbles
Wrong verb form
hobbled
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 and lonely especially some of those who do not have a basic background of the
language
, which in results may lead them to return to there home country. in conclusion,
foreign
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a foreign
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language
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languages
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 can cause serious social and practical
problems
 for people living in
foreign
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a foreign
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 country for those who do not
speaks
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speak
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 the local
language
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that intermentioned points are strongly supporting my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.
Submitted by vivaalain on

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Task Achievement
Develop more comprehensive and detailed paragraphs to enhance clarity and depth in your argument.
Task Achievement
Add more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your argument and make your position more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the structure of your paragraphs for better logical flow, helping readers follow your argument more easily.
Coherence & Cohesion
Further refine your introduction and conclusion to more effectively encapsulate your main points and viewpoints.
Task Achievement
You have effectively communicated your viewpoint throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay includes logical progression of ideas and connects them with appropriate examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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