IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

in this period of globalization many people are lucky or forced to live in other country and face serious social and practical problems because of the foreign language

#period #globalization #people #country #face #language
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in
this
Linking Words
 period of
globalization
Add a comma
globalization,
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 many people are lucky or forced to live in other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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and face serious social and practical
problems
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 because of the foreign
language
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, some of the
problems
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 are socializing with others or simply taking a trip in a taxi or asking for directions , in my
opinion
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opinion,
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i
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I
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 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. supporting my argument to the given statement,
i
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I
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 firmly believe that foreign
language
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 can be
serious
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a serious
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 problem for tourists in Japan
were
Correct your spelling
where
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 the
Majorite
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Majority
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 of the population speaks only Japanese,
for example
Linking Words
 without knowing the
language
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 many will face
problems
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 using the metro or communicating with
taxi
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a taxi
the taxi
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 driver,
moreover
Linking Words
 asking for directions will probable get you
no where
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nowhere
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. explaining some of the other supporting points in
favor
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favour
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in
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of
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this
Linking Words
 statement,
its
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it's
it is
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 true that many arab
emigrants
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immigrants
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 in Canada face a lot of social isolation and
finds
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find
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 it really difficult to blend
in
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into
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local
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the local
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 community
as a result
Linking Words
 many
feels
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feel
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hobbles
Wrong verb form
hobbled
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 and lonely especially some of those who do not have a basic background of the
language
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, which in results may lead them to return to there home country. in conclusion,
foreign
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a foreign
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Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 can cause serious social and practical
problems
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 for people living in
foreign
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a foreign
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 country for those who do not
speaks
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speak
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 the local
language
Use synonyms
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that intermentioned points are strongly supporting my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.
Submitted by vivaalain on

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Task Achievement
Develop more comprehensive and detailed paragraphs to enhance clarity and depth in your argument.
Task Achievement
Add more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your argument and make your position more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the structure of your paragraphs for better logical flow, helping readers follow your argument more easily.
Coherence & Cohesion
Further refine your introduction and conclusion to more effectively encapsulate your main points and viewpoints.
Task Achievement
You have effectively communicated your viewpoint throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay includes logical progression of ideas and connects them with appropriate examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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