Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?

It is true that student's dependence on applied science seems to be getting widely distributed. There are several reasons for
this
, and both schools and parents should work together to enhance the situation. Starting from the main issues connected to
reliance
Add an article
the reliance
show examples
of
children
on technological equipment it is essential that it negatively affects educational outcomes and student achievement.
Consequently
, if a plethora of time per day is spent by young people playing with
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
or watching videos, it will lead to a decrease in academic performance. As a solution, adolescents should be monitored by parents and be limited in the time permitted for using some electronic devices just for fun.
Secondly
, the significant detrimental consequence of
such
dependence on domestic appliances can be revealed as the occurrence of vision problems in a number of
children
.
Therefore
, long-lasting contact with gadgets is harmful to
children
's health. Of course, it is difficult to control the young learners every time,
however
, the parents
together with
teachers should explain the drawbacks to the
children
via discussion and mutual negotiation.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more thoroughly with more specific examples and details. This will help make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking devices to enhance the cohesion and coherence of your essay. This will make your argument flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and effectively summarize your main points and position. This offers a round completion to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay, with each paragraph addressing a specific point related to the task. This organization is commendable.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task directly and provides relevant points about the problems and solutions associated with reliance on technology by students.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: