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Band 5.5

Children over 15 years should be allowed to take their own decision without any interference from their parents? Do you agree or disagree.

#children #years #decision #interference #parents
For parents, it is scary when their kids reach adolescence. Teenagers want to make their own
decisions
, and
this
 is hard to accept for some families. In
this
 essay, I am going to explain the advantages and disadvantages of letting them take more control of their own lives.
Firstly
, in my opinion, kids should be allowed to make their own
choices
, since they are only small.
This
 way, children are taught that there are different options
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that sometimes one of them has to be chosen. When the kids reach 15
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 old, they need to feel in control and independent.
Besides
 they need to be responsible for the
choices
 they made and for the consequences of those. Obviously, parents' supervision is paramount, always providing support and counselling.
Secondly
, the more
decisions
 they are allowed to make on their own, the better
choices
 will make in the future when they grow up.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages that may have a negative impact on the youth individuals.
For example
, a
15 year old
Add a hyphen
15-year-old
show examples
 may not have enough experience in life to perceive dangerous situations.
Also
, not all teenagers are mature or competent enough to make certain important
decisions
. In conclusion,
although
 a 15-year-old should be able to make their own
decisions
, parents should always have oversight and provide support, to be able to help them when the incorrect
choices
 are made.
Submitted by olatzbaroja on

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Coherence Cohesion
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Coherence Cohesion
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Your writing showcases a clear stance throughout the essay, which aligns with the task requirements, highlighting your comprehension of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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